What I've Done
by Floating-Uncertainties
Summary: Elijah Goldsworthy has a dark past, a messed up family, and is emotionally torn. Will a sudden friendship between Adam and a potential love interest from Clare be able to rebuild Eli or will his past continue to tear him down?
1. Arriving At Degrassi

So this was the infamous Degrassi. I've heard about it; buzzing with drama, rumors, and stuck up snobs. Then again that was very much the rumors about every high school. I pulled my hearse, Morty, into the closest parking spot I could find which happened to be by the complete end of the parking lot. I sighed, grabbed my bag from the seat beside me, and slammed the door shut before walking towards Degrassi. As I reached the entrance, something, or more like someone caught my eye. This someone was a girl; with the most beautiful pair of pale blue eyes I've ever seen. I held onto the strap of my backpack tighter and glanced at her quickly as I walked by. I saw her eyes flicker towards me and with a smirk I headed to my first class: Advanced English.

"Okay everyone, we have a new student. Let's welcome Elijah Goldsworthy." I sank down in my chair as my English teacher, Ms. Dawes spoke. I wasn't exactly one who craved or sought out attention. Everyone stared blankly at me then returned to looking at their books Ms. Dawes had assigned us to read; The Catcher in the Rye. I heard the classroom door open and in walked the girl I had seen this morning.

"Welcome, Clare. Thanks for joining us."

"Sorry, Ms. Dawes, yearbook meeting ran late," Clare said, somewhat out of breath.

Ms. Dawes gave an approving head nod and spoke again. "Your seat is behind Mr. Goldsworthy. "

Clare rapidly took a seat and I could feel her eyes staring me down as she did. I had to talk to her and before I knew it, words just poured out of my mouth.

"You had a yearbook meeting? A little early to be planning that with a new term isn't it?"

Clare smiled. "If you want things done right, you have to get ahead."

I smirked. "I suppose so. Your name is Clare, right?"

"Your name is Elijah, right?"

I let out a small chuckle. "Call me Eli, the one and only."

"Can you be anymore smug, Eli?" she asked with an emphasis on my name.

"Absolutely," I said reaching out my arm to shake her hand.

"Well, then." She said taking my hand in hers. "Welcome to Degrassi. You should fit in just fine."


	2. The Really Bad Day

I didn't talk to Clare the rest of the period. I sat in my seat trying to somehow focus on the book, but my thoughts kept floating away. Welcome to Degrassi. You should fit in just fine. I wonder what that meant exactly. As the bell rang, I proceeded towards the door; slightly bumping into Clare on the way out to which she let out a loud grunt. I tipped my head towards her and I saw she was resisting the urge to smile. The rest of my day was pretty boring and I didn't see anyone worth talking to just yet. Once 3:00 came, I think I was the first one to run out of the door. I wasn't really in the mood to go home just yet, but I had no choice.

Truth is; my house wasn't exactly the best of places to be; mainly lonesome. My mom worked every minute of every day trying to support me. When she came home, she was drained of energy, always aggravated, and went to sleep leaving me alone. My dad had left when I turned fourteen. It was a pretty big blow out. There were a lot of smashed items, bruising, and deaf ears by the end of it. That's what inspired me to buy my noise blocker headphones. I didn't want to hear that kind of yelling ever again; the yelling that etched through your soul with fright. Looking back on it, I don't think I could ever forgive my dad for treating my mom the way he did. Then again, I couldn't exactly forgive my mom for neglecting me either.

I parked Morty in front of my house around 4:00 and went inside. No one was home which was to be expected. I took off my black jacket and set my skull ring on the table beside the coat hanger. With that being done, I headed across the living room to my bed room with my noise blocker headphones around my ears. When my mom arrived home in about an hour from her first shift she was not to be pleasant and hearing her would not make me in any more good of a mood then she was.

5:00 came too fast and before I knew it, my mom was home.

"ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY?" she shouted. I shook as I pulled off my headphones and walked into the living room. "DON'T LEAVE YOUR STUFF LYING AROUND. THIS ISN'T YOUR OWN PERSONAL DUMPSTER!" She chucked my skull ring at me which I caught between the tips of my fingers. I knew today she had a really bad day. A tantrum that was started from a leaving my skull ring on the table? Not exactly a normal thing everyday people would flip over. I shook my head and walked back into my room but not before I heard "Maybe one day you'll stop with this obsession with death Elijah. It's old news. "

I slammed my bedroom door at that comment and tugged at the edges of my hair. It was old news to her, but not to me. I had to live with what I had done.


	3. Eyes

I remember waking up quite groggy and frustrated. My shaggy black hair was sticking up and the thing my mother had said to me yesterday was still fresh in my mind. Without eating breakfast, I headed out the door, drove Morty to Degrassi, and headed into Advanced English where at this point, Clare was the only person who could possibly cheer me up. There she was sitting in her seat behind me. I whispered hello quietly to her before taking my seat.

"Okay class, settle down," began Ms. Dawes front and center of the classroom. "Our topic to start off our new term is Memoirs. I will be dividing you guys up into pairs for which you will edit each others work and later on present it in front of the class." Great, I thought. What would I possibly write about?

"But, first. I think we shall try somewhat of an exercise. Memoirs are about going into great detail about even the simplest things you recall from memory. Students in the first, third, and fifth chair turn around to face your partner for today and when I say start, describe something you like to look at in detail."

I turned around to face Clare which was a joy since her pale blue eyes seemed even brighter then they were yesterday.

"Are you okay?" She asked. Maybe I stared into her eyes a little too long.

"Yeah," I lied. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. You seem a little distant?"

I shook my head and gave her a small smile. "Nope, just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. "

"Okay," said Ms. Dawes looking at her wrist watch. "You have thirty seconds. Begin"

"Something I like to look at, "I said. "Well, they're eyes. Not just anyone's eyes, but eyes pale and blue encased with a story. They glisten in the sunlight, move quickly when nervous, and I can't help but wonder who the person really is behind them."

I stopped talking just as Ms. Dawes called time. Clare's cheeks were flushed and I felt a great sense of accomplishment because of that.

"You're quite the charmer, Eli." She said, her cheeks turning even redder then before.

"Me?" I asked putting my hand on my chest as to act surprised. "Never," I said smirking. "Now it's your turn," I told her as Ms. Dawes held up her wrist watch yet again.


	4. The Crumpled Piece Of Paper

I went to the Dot after school ended and sat alone in the back waiting for my burger and fries to come. In the meantime I figured I'd work on Ms. Dawes' memoir assignment. I didn't know what to write about at that point for all my memories were either dull or … depressing you could say. I printed my heading on the top of the page and thought I'd write whatever came to mind.

Blood, is supposed to be in your veins. Not out, but when it is it's more overwhelming then most people think. I've felt it before running down my fingertips; the blood of someone other then my own.

I crumpled up that piece of paper. Way to go Eli, I thought. Let's write about that and scare the crap out of everyone. I pushed the piece of paper to the side as the waiter brought my burger.

"Thanks," I muttered and began to eat silently.

"Need some company?" A voice asked from behind. I turned my head around and saw Clare standing above me.

"Sure," I said knowing I couldn't hide back a smile at this point. "So, what brings you to the Dot?"

"I just wanted to grab something to eat before I went home, but since you're here I guess I'll stick around."

"You guess?" I asked pretending to be insulted.

"Oh shush," Clare hissed at me. "Were you really describing my eyes today during English?"

I took a bite of my burger before I spoke. "There's no one else who I know with eyes as pretty as yours."

She took a French fry off of my plate. "I didn't always have these eyes. I used to wear glasses. I was kind of a nerd actually," She said chuckling.

Gosh, I loved her laugh. It was gentle and inviting. "Really, I would never have guessed."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," she said taking another French fry.

I raised my eyebrow up at her and let my hand purposely brush against hers. "Well then Clare, I hope to know these things someday. "

"I'll think about it, but I'm still going to do what I want," she said confidently.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. Let's get out of here. I'll buy you some food and we can possibly work on our English assignment."

She nodded and with that we grabbed our stuff, ordered, and left the Dot. I made sure to not leave my crumpled up idea for the assignment on the table.


	5. Refraining

"So, any ideas on what you're writing about?" I asked Clare as we sat on a bench near the park.

"I was thinking about writing how I always have to live up to my sister. How about you?"

I shrugged. "I got nothing unless you want to be extremely bored or extremely depressed."

"I highly doubt you're boring."

"Think again, Clare. Think again," I said leaning my head back on the bench.

Clare put her notebook into her bag and turned to face me. "Okay, let's play 20 questions."

"Please tell me you're joking," I said rolling my eyes.

She shook her head. "Nope, I'm quite serious right now. I'll go first to make it easy on you. Why did you transfer to Degrassi? Eli? ELI?"

I laughed as she got frustrated with me. I had put on my headphones and when I didn't respond she started to scream out my name repetitively. She made a grasp for my headphones. I stood up causing her to miss, and she got somewhat angrier, which I found adorable. She stood up as well, walking towards me with a frown and made another grab for my headphones. As she did, I caught her wrists in my hands and we locked eyes. I had a sudden urge to kiss her; actually more of a desire. Those eyes; those breathtaking eyes. However, I refrained and we broke apart; silent for some time, but as I looked at Clare I could see a smile forming across her face. I knew then that maybe she was starting to like me.

"Want me to drive you home?" I asked breaking the silence.

"Sure," Clare said. "I'd like that."


	6. The Unwanted Arrival

*Next Day*

Clare walked into Degrassi around 7:30 am for a quick yearbook meeting. As she headed through the hallways to the classroom, she heard someone call out behind her.

"Clare, wait up!"

She turned around hoping it would be Eli, but was faced with K.C.

"What do you want," she snarled turning on the sole of her shoe and stomping ahead of him.

He grabbed her arm. "Clare, look. I dumped Jenna."

Clare stopped and looked at K.C. "So, do you want a cookie or something?"

K.C. let out a small laugh. "No, I want you Clare. I miss you."

"You didn't say that when Jenna came around in her power squad uniform."

"I was an idiot, but I want you back Clare. I know you still have feelings for me," said K.C. slowly putting his arm around Clare's waist. He leaned in to kiss her.

At that point, I was frustrated, but I waited behind the set of lockers to hear what Clare had to say. I was hoping that what K.C. was saying wasn't true.

Suddenly, I heard a loud slap and a gasp which only meant that K.C. was wrong. "I gave up on you K.C. along time ago! And for the record, don't touch me ever again!"

I heard the slamming of her feet against the tile floor and they sounded like they were coming towards me. I ducked out of sight down another hallway to make sure she wouldn't know I was eavesdropping. However, I just had to make sure she was okay so I stepped out from the hallway only to have her slam into me. She stumbled, but I caught her and hoisted her back up onto her feet.

"Sorry, Clare, I didn't mean to run into you."

Clare shook her head and fluffed her hair looking flustered and agitated. "No, no, Eli. It's fine. I have to go to a yearbook meeting. I'll um… see you in class."

"Yes, you will." I said. I watched her as she walked away. At that point I was somewhat happy, but yet annoyed. She had said no to K.C, but at the same time I had a feeling K.C. wouldn't back down that easily from Clare. I'd have to keep an eye on her which for me wasn't a problem. I just hoped this incident wouldn't ruin anything me and Clare had already established.


	7. The Newly Devised Plan

K.C. slammed his locker shut so hard that an echo rang out in the hallway. "I'm an idiot!" he shouted to himself knowing that no one would hear him since school hadn't officially started yet.

"What did you do now?" A voice asked from behind.  
"Fitz?" K.C. asked somewhat surprised that he was there before school hours. "A little early this morning, are we?"

"Yeah, yeah, I haven't slept all night. I had to work off a minor hangover and thought I'd come to Degrassi a little early."

"Wow, you're definitely hung over if Degrassi is your place of choice to go to," K.C. said.

Fitz leaned his head against K.C.'s locker. "You're telling me. I've never had a headache this bad."

"So much for a minor hangover, it's called don't drink."

"Coming from you? That bottle of Gin you snagged from your mom's place is what brought on this bad boy of a headache," Fitz said annoyingly, massaging his temples with the tips of his fingers.

"I told you to shut up about that. If anyone finds out, I'll be – "

"I know man, parole officer and jail time. Calm yourself. Bianca's laying low today. She doesn't need a record for underage drinking. She already got busted once before, but Simpson let her off with a warning. As for me well, I'm not much different drunk or not." Fitz let out a loud belch causing K.C. to look at him disapprovingly.

"Oh yeah, Fitz, you're a real joy." Suddenly, a smile broadened across K.C.'s face. "Hey, Fitz, I was wondering if you would you do me a favor."

"Will you get me another bottle of Gin?"

"Uh…I guess so." K.C. said hesitantly. Fitz's eyes lit up.

"Alright, then, name your price. "

"You know that kid Eli?"

"That Gothic kid, shaggy hair, just transferred?"

K.C nodded. "That's the one. I need you to keep an eye on him. I think he's trying to make a move on Clare and that can't happen."

"Don't worry, I'm on it." K.C. smiled and high fived Fitz as a thank you then walked away; happy with himself and his new plan.


	8. A New Feeling

I paced back and forth outside of Ms. Dawes room. I hoped Clare wouldn't be late like the first time I had met her. I wanted to talk to her just to make sure she was okay. To my surprise, she arrived early, before Ms. Dawes, and before anyone else in the class.

"Good morning Clare," I said.

"Good morning Eli," she said with her head down. She still seemed out of it from her encounter with K.C.

"Clare… um, look. I heard what happened before with K.C. I'm guessing his new girlfriend is now his ex."

"Something like that. With how fast news in Degrassi travels I'm sure you know pretty much the whole story."

I did know. I knew pretty well. I was right about rumors flying around Degrassi. The newest one was how I'm Clare Edwards's new "friend" around school. With K.C. as a football player most people didn't understand how Clare would trade for someone of lower social status; meaning me. From how I saw it, K.C. was nothing special if he left Clare alone and heartbroken. I didn't know a lot about her, but I never wanted to see Clare hurt by anyone.

"Possibly, but whatever is true and whatever is not there's one fact that's still the same."

Clare looked slightly puzzled as I said that. "What would that be?"

"K.C.'s an idiot for giving up a girl as beautiful as you." This time I knew Clare's cheeks weren't the only ones that turned a shade of pink. I've never felt something like this for a girl; the tingling sensation taking over my body. I had never experienced the true feeling of caring or being close to someone. It was a new feeling that excited, but yet scared me at the same time.

Acting on pure impulse, I took Clare's hand in mine. The softness and warmth of her hands sent a slight shiver down my spine. I waited to see if she would pull away, but she didn't and I knew that she felt something like I felt something at this very moment. I pulled her in and titled my head to kiss her, to make her forget about the tension left over from K.C.

"HEADS!" I heard throughout the hall. I pushed Clare out of the way as a football just missed both mine and her head. I turned around and saw Fitz standing at the other end of the hall. "Sorry, guys. I thought you were someone else." He turned around and left, but I swear I could have heard him laughing in the distance.

Clare and I pulled apart yet again; much to my disappointment. She seemed a little saddened as well.

came into view as the 8:00 bell rang and the usual hustle and bustle of the halls took over.

"Ms. Edwards, Mr. Goldsworthy, I think it's time for class." With that being said, Clare and I headed inside after her.


	9. Too Personal Story

"Now, I hope you all got started on the first drafts of your memoir. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. The names of you and your editing partners are on the board," Ms Dawes finished writing names on the chalkboard as she concluded her speech.

"It looks like we're partners." I looked up and saw a short kid in baggy sweats pants and a gray t-shirt standing over me. He was wearing a cap as well, that was slightly twisted to the side. "The name's Adam," he said, his voice somewhat high pitched.

"Eli," I said quietly. "I guess we'll get to work?"

Adam nodded and took Clare's seat. She had moved to go sit with her partner in the back of the classroom; someone named Alicia.

"I've heard you got a hearse," said Adam questioningly.

"What's it to you?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering why you'd choose a hearse of all cars."

"It was a personal choice. I'm surprised you didn't guess by how I dress and what people say around here."

Adam shook his head. "Please, I don't listen to that stuff. I've heard enough nasty stuff about me to start believing stuff about anyone else."

I raised my eyebrow up at him. "What's your story?"

Adam passed me a piece of paper; his assignment for Ms. Dawes' class. I looked at the first few sentences which read: "I never wanted to be a girl. Something didn't seem right to me about it. I felt that I was living a lie, a false identity overtaken by my gender. Ever since I was young, I was never the feminine type. I always played sports, never wore makeup, my hair was always up, and I always dressed in baggy clothes. I knew I wasn't just a tomboy. It went deeper then that. Deciding to make that change was difficult and I got bashed for it pretty hard which is what made Degrassi the new school for me."

My eyes looked up from Adam, to the paper, and back to Adam. "Why would you give up something like this so easily to me?"

"I don't know," Adam said. "You didn't seem the judge worthy type. Besides, I needed someone to know other then my family."

"So, you're... transgender?"

"Not biologically. I still have –"

"No, no, no, no. I got it, thanks." I said my eyes widened. Adam laughed a little bit to himself. "Don't worry, I'll keep your secret, but I have a question. Are you really handing this in to Ms. Dawes?" I asked. It seemed too personal to me to hand in a story like Adam's.

"I don't know. Depends if I can write something else by when the real thing is due. I just needed something so she wouldn't think I slacked. Besides, all the teachers know. My parents informed Mr. Simpson and he sent out letters. "

"Well, it's up to you, I guess. Let's just say my draft is empty and lacking." It was true. I couldn't think of anything else to write about besides…well my idea from yesterday, but that was a story worth telling far outside of English class.

"Well, we are both new here. Wanna hang out for lunch and maybe we could work on that draft of yours? I think we're both lacking when it comes to friends." Adam said adjusting his cap so it now tilted perfectly off the side of his head.

"You have no idea," I said. "But, okay. Lunch sounds good." With that, the bell rang and Adam and I walked out of Ms. Dawes' class.


	10. Interrupted Lunch

"You like The Dead Hand too? That's awesome dude!" Adam said excitedly.

"You are one strange kid, Adam."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Adam said with less enthusiasm then he had previously been talking at.

"Aw, the gothic kid has a new friend." I knew that voice. I had heard it this morning. It was K.C. I whipped around to see him standing above me; a lunch tray in his hand.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly, putting the meanest face on as I could. I eyed K.C. A twinkle in his eye showed me he wasn't ready to make peace.

He lowered his tray onto my table. "Aw, the gothic kid is trying to be tough." He messed up my hair. I grabbed his wrist and twisted it until K.C. pulled away. I could see he was getting angry now.

He picked me up by my jacket collar and said, "Don't test me, Eli. Stay away from Clare." His eyes then went to Adam. "What the hell are you looking at?"

"Still trying to figure that out," he said not fazed by K.C.'s sudden attention towards him.

"I didn't ask for a spit shower, K.C." I pushed his hands off of my collar and with a slight kick against the table, his lunch tray slid off the other end. K.C. raised his arm to strike me until Adam announced a teacher was coming. With a snarl, K.C. left.

"What's he got on you?" Adam asked sitting back down.

"He's trying to keep me away from Clare."

"Is that his girlfriend?"

"No," I snarled. "He's more of a jealous ex."

"Man, I hate those. Always up on you like that."

I looked at Adam and couldn't help but laugh. He really was an interesting kid when I thought about it. "You worry me a little bit."

Adam tugged at his cap; his eyes glancing at his lap as he did. "Ugh, I get that a lot too."

We continued to talk for the rest of the period mainly about The Dead Hand, our English assignment, and what we thought of Degrassi. By the end of lunch, I was craving to talk to Clare, but I figured with K.C. on the hunt I'd best leave her alone. I didn't need her getting upset anymore today especially if I was the reason why it happened.


	11. Bruised And Scarred

After school I headed to the Dot yet again hoping to get some alone time to gather my thoughts. I finally figured out what I would write about for Ms. Dawes assignment. I thought that going on and on about my parent's separation would count as a memoir and maybe get me a few sympathetic points to make up for my lack of description.

"Eli!" I heard someone call me from outside the dot. I pushed my bangs out of my face and saw Fitz and K.C. standing outside; both with their arms crossed.

I picked up my bag and walked outside. Ignoring them would only cause a bigger problem.

"Two syllables? Good… good for you." I said with a devilish smirk on my face. I wasn't scared, not even in the slightest. "So, what the hell do you guys want?"

"You don't know how to keep your mouth shut, do you? You may have been able to get away in the cafe, but not here," K.C. said uncrossing his arms. He made a quick movement and before I knew it, I was on the ground. I felt Fitz grab my feet and drag me into the back alley.

"I told you to leave Clare alone, Eli. This could have all been avoided, but trying to kiss her. That's crossing the line."

I stood up, tossed my bag to the side, and ran up to K.C.'s face. "I'm not the one who dumped Clare for a slut you call a girlfriend," I spat. There was a silence and I could tell I got under K.C's skin. I could almost feel his blood boiling. It gave me a rush, a drive, to fight. Before I knew it, K.C. and I were at it. I managed to right hook him in the face causing him to lose his balance. Fitz tried to help, but I gave him an elbow to the chest knocking the wind out of him. K.C. put his hands around my neck and backed me up against a wall. I felt my lungs fighting for air and before I knew it I resorted to my last option. I shot my leg outward giving K.C. a low blow. He let go of my neck and collapsed to the floor grasping his personal area.

"Fitz… get t…this jerk," he said forcing the words to come out. He made several grunts and I heard him fail at an attempt to get up.

I made a run for it, but I felt someone yank on the collar of my jacket and before I could process what had happened, the ground rushed up to meet me. I slammed head first onto the concrete losing my sense of direction.

I heard footsteps around me. K.C. must have got up. I tried to move knowing a punch was coming at any moment, but Fitz pinned me down.

"He's all yours, K.C." I heard him say with absolute pleasure. It drove me mad and I started to fidget trying to break free.

Suddenly, pain like never before filled my body. K.C. had kicked me in my stomach approximately by my ribcage. He did it not once, but three more times and by that point I had stopped fighting. My body ached, my breathing was scarce and off target, my nerves were tingling. I fought to keep conscious, but the pain was almost unbearable. I heard K.C. and Fitz run off in the distance. I was alone, feeling like complete death. I felt blood trickle down my forehead. I could feel my heart pounding so fast in my chest that my head throbbed. My vision was blurring and my head was spinning. No one would ever look to find me here. I had to do this on my own and with that thought in my mind I forced my legs to hold up my body weight.

Clutching my stomach with one hand, and the lining of the wall with the other, I hobbled to the beginning of the alleyway. I was in more pain then when I was lying on the ground and I knew I couldn't push myself any further. I slid down the wall and lay there waiting, just waiting for the pain to go away and a sense of numbness to sink in.


	12. The Voices In The Dark

"ELI! Oh gosh, Adam, get over here now!" My eyes fluttered open as I heard voices get closer. Clare and Adam came into view.

Clare dropped by my side. "Eli, who did this to you? I'm going to call the police."

I used almost all of my energy to grab her hand to stop her from getting out her phone. "D…Don't c…call anyone, "I choked on my words as a wave of pain kicked in. I yelped and clutched my stomach waiting for it to be over.

"Eli, you need help. You could be really hurt."

"Clare's right, Eli," Adam said.

"J…just get m…me out o…of here."

Clare looked me in the eyes and she knew I was serious about not wanting help. She ripped off a piece of her sleeve, pushed back my bangs, and pressed it against my forehead.

"We'll get you out of here. I promise." She signaled to Adam to grab my right side while she got the left. Adam agreed and kneeled down beside me opposite Clare. I stretched each of my arms onto one of their shoulders and they lifted me up.

"M…Morty's faster," I whispered.

"Look Eli, you're a cool dude, but if you think you can drive you're out of your mind," Adam said harshly. I forced a smile and winced. Even that hurt. "We're taking you home."

"N…Not home, p…please." I begged to Adam and Clare with the last remaining strength I had. My eyes closed and darkness surrounded me.


	13. Waking Up

I finally woke up after what seemed to be days. I was lying on a couch; thankfully I realized it wasn't my own.

Clare approached me. "Well, good morning, sleepyhead," She said happily.

"How long have I been out?" I asked feeling a bandage that was wrapped around my head.

"All of yesterday and a little bit into this morning. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been kicked in the ribs," I said half smiling and half joking. Clare shook her head unable to comprehend how I was still in such a playful mood.

"You're still the same old Eli."

"Are we at your house?"

Clare nodded. "My parents are out of town for a few days on business and since you didn't seem like you wanted to go home, Adam and I brought you here. "

"Thanks, Clare. "  
"I don't know how we carried you here though. You were pretty heavy," Adam chimed in as he emerged from the kitchen carrying a bag of chips.

"Shut up," I said and tossed a pillow at him causing chips to scatter everywhere. Bad move. My stomach lurched and a throbbing pain ignited in my body.

Clare grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Are you, okay?" she asked seeming worried now.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." I sat up a little and saw that my shirt was unbuttoned. Along my stomach lined dark blue bruises mixed with purple and a tint of yellow. They were still fresh, and I knew they'd take a long time to heal. Trying to lighten up the mood I asked, "Clare, why is my shirt open? Trying to get a view?"

Clare glared at me strongly and lightly slapped me across the face. "We were icing your bruises. Get over yourself Eli."  
"HEY, is that how you treat someone who was just beat up?"

Clare turned and went into the kitchen only to return with a few ice packs. She placed them on my stomach and said, "Until you tell me who did this to you then, yes."

"It's quite obvious the person was a jerk. If I had to guess I'd say it's K.C." Adam said.

Clare whipped around and looked at Adam horrified.

"K.C?" she asked biting the end of her lip.

I shot Adam a death look to which he responded by saying "I'm going to get some um…. Stuff," and bolted out the front door.

Clare looked back at me her eyes piercing through me demanding an answer. "Was it K.C?"

"Him and Fitz actually."

As soon as those words came out of my mouth, Clare's usual innocent face turned evil. I could feel the hatred burning through her eyes. Her hand clenched up into a fist and she focused her eyes angrily on the floor below. She was speechless. I took her hand making her release the fist and pulled her down onto the couch.

"Clare, don't worry about it, okay. They were being stupid," I said trying to calm her down.

"They hurt you, Eli. If Adam and I didn't show up you could have-"Her voice trailed off and I could tell she was upset.

"Look," I said lifting up her chin with my hand. "I'm going to be fine and once I am, K.C. will be sorry." Her eyes now shone with more of a reassurance. However, my mind was racing. I had said the same exact words before about revenge and well let's just say… that ended badly.

Clare started to stand up to leave, but I took her hand and pulled her back down. I just wanted to show her things were going to be okay. I sat up; fighting the throbbing sensation I felt throughout my body and kissed her. The kiss was passionate with her lips against mine; soft and warm just like her hands. We stopped after a couple of moments longer, both in a mere trance from what just happened.

She kissed my forehead after and said, "Go to sleep, Eli."

I heard her footsteps fade. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	14. My Worse Nightmare

"Bryan, you don't know what you're doing," I said. I was in alleyway similar to the one like the Dot face to face with a tall, slightly built guy, wearing a t-shirt and baggy jeans. This was my best friend.

"Shut up, Eli. I'm tired of having to forgive you," Bryan said; his eyes full of rage. They were flaring at me like I was his prey. He had a thirst to come after me.

"Look, I told you I was sorry. I never meant to rag on you the way I did. It just –"

"It just what- "he shouted cutting me off. "It just slipped out? Is that your damn excuse for it? Just because your family is just as messed up doesn't give you the right to go ragging about mine. Why did you think I didn't want to tell you? You're a pathetic excuse for a friend." Bryan walked passed me, bumping his shoulder hard into mine as he did. He walked out of the alleyway towards the street.

I ran after him shoving my hands deep into my pockets. It was freezing and I could feel my hands going numb. Suddenly, I saw something; flashing headlights on a minivan.

My eyes widened and I looked for Bryan. He was crossing directly in their path. The car sped up and before I could even give the order to my feet to run and push him out of the way, it ran him down. I hopped off the curb and landed on my knees beside Bryan. The minivan had already backed up and drove away.

He was lying there; motionless. It scared me how still a human body could be. There was blood around him. "Help," I called out. "Please, help," I pleaded to the crowd of on lookers. My head collapsed on his chest and I cried harder then I ever had in my life. "Please don't die, Bryan. Please."

I didn't know how much time had passed. Everything seemed frozen to me. I heard sirens approaching and I felt hands lift me up underneath my armpits. "Sir, you have to move."

These words made me angry. "He was just a kid," I screamed. "He was just a kid." The words became fainter as my own tears prohibited me from saying more. My body was trembling by this point and I watched as they loaded Bryan onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw blood drip from my hands and I remember screaming at the top of my lungs; raw emotion filling me inside and out.

I was jerking by this point and someone kept calling, "Eli, Eli, wake up. Wake up."

I sat up drenched in my own sweat. Clare was looking at me her eyes traced with fright. "Who's Bryan?" she asked.

"I don't know, Clare. It was just a dream," I lied. I was too shaken to want to speak about it.

"That was too real to be a nightmare Eli and you know it." Her words pierced right through me. There wasn't any price I wouldn't pay to make that a dream.


	15. Possible Regret

"Okay, K.C. you know the deal. I beat up your little gothic annoyance so I get a bottle of something," Fitz said kicking a pebble in his path. K.C. was walking beside him.

"I'm the one who got kicked in the nards and still beat his ass."

"If it wasn't for me, you would have stayed on the ground with your aching nards. Now get me a bottle." Fitz demanded.

K.C. came to a halt at an apartment complex on the corner of the street. It was his mother's house. "Okay, just wait down here. I'll pull some strings to distract my mom."

K.C. headed inside, climbed three flights of stairs, and stopped at his mother's apartment midway down the hall. She answered almost instantly with a smile planted widely on her face.

"Oh, K.C." she said wrapping K.C. in a tight hug. "Please tell me you're here to stay. I've missed you so much." K.C. pulled away from her and let himself inside. His mother closed the door behind him.

"I've told you dozens of times mom. I don't want to live with you and I don't know how many times I'm going to have to keep repeating myself," K.C. said sharply.

His mother looked like someone had stabbed her with a knife. She tried to keep a straight face, but the pain seeped through. "So, what are you doing here? Have you come to drop another insult on me about how much of a drunk I am?" She threw her hands up in the air and walked over to the counter. She leaned on the counter top and K.C. saw her back draw in as she heaved in a huge breath.

"Actually -"K.C. began thinking of his deal with Fitz. "That's exactly what I'm here to do. I bet you have a bottle stashed somewhere don't you, mom?" K.C. bore towards the kitchen pushing his mom aside. She didn't even try to stop him. He opened every cabinet and rifled through boxes of cereal, pasta, spices, and other food items. The light from the kitchen flickered upon a glass in the back of one cabinet and K.C.'s eyes lit up with delight. He grabbed the bottle and whipped it out.

"Typical," he muttered under his breath.

"I'm allowed to have a drink or two K.C." she shouted trying to snatch the bottle away from him.

"And to think you wanted me to live with you. You're no different then before." On that note, K.C. exited his mother's apartment slamming the door so forcefully; he could have sworn the hinges would collapse.

He met Fitz outside of the apartment building and flashed the bottle to him before sneakily tucking it in to the side of Fitz's jacket. Fitz nodded approvingly and said, "We're going to party, tonight, eh buddy?" He patted K.C. on the back.

"Yeah… Fitz, whatever you want." K.C. said. However, if it wasn't for Fitz being oblivious to anything but the bottle of alcohol, he would have heard the sound of what seemed to be regret lingering in K.C.'s voice.


	16. The Truth Comes Out

Clare and I sat in silence for a good five minutes. My mind was racing with an endless train of thoughts. What would she think of me when I told her about Bryan? Would she hate me? Would she understand? No. No one ever understood, but I had to remember, this was Clare not just anybody else.

I took a breath and said, "Bryan was my best friend. He died two years ago after getting run over by a car which I brought on."

"What do you mean?" she asked. I was waiting for her to sound scared or back away, but she didn't. She only intertwined her fingers with mine and waited for me to continue. How could she be so wonderful? I didn't deserve her.

"Bryan and I got into a fight this one week. His folks were getting a divorce and I accidently let some jokes slip. I never meant to. Oh, I don't know Clare they just slipped out and before I knew it, Bryan and I were in the middle of the school hall taking every blow we could get to each other. Right after that we weren't friends anymore. I was pissed and while in the locker room before gym started, I told a group of guys that he needed to pay for busting up my face. They suggested scaring him by almost hitting him with their minivan if I led Bryan to them…" I trailed off biting my tongue trying to fight off the sudden knot I had in my throat. I wasn't willing to cry right now.

"Please tell me you told them no," Clare whispered, her eyes looking towards our hands.

I put my hand on her cheek and turned her face towards me. "Of course I did," I said solemnly. "Whether or not I was angry, deep down, I knew he was my best friend. "

Clare's eyes seemed to reflect a sense of rejoice and happiness as I had said that. "What happened then?"

"About a month passed and I and Bryan hadn't spoken since our blowout. I was alone. I had no one and I needed to talk to him. So, I stopped by a local spot he used to hang out almost everyday after school and I found him edged up against the wall looking like he was frozen to death. I offered to help him or at least take him somewhere warm, but he was still so angry at me. I assumed things had only gotten worse at that point which is why he was even out in the cold to begin with." I paused again to fight off another wave of tears I felt coming. Clare waited patiently, not speaking or trying to interrupt me in any way.

"We started arguing again and I didn't want to fight so I let him move past me. Somehow the guys from the locker found out where I was going and I saw their minivan driving up. They didn't stop like they said they would. They took him right down, Clare. I ran into the street and felt his chest hoping that he would breathe, but he didn't. Before I knew it, I was soaked in his blood. He died before even arriving to the hospital, and all questions went to me and –"

"That's why you came to Degrassi."

I nodded. "Until moving time, I never felt so alone Clare. I ditched school and when I did go, I hid my face, dressed in the darkest clothes I could find just so people wouldn't want to talk to me. When his funeral came, I bought the car they carried his body in and kept his ring which was found on the scene when the police showed up."

"Why would you do that?" Clare asked.

I sighed. "I felt like I had to. I felt like I needed to be punished and I had to remember what happened no matter how much time went by." I moved my eyes to look at the ring; it still looked the same way it had when I found it on the ground. Silver, stained with blood; and even some still etched into the eyes of the skull's head.

"Eli, you can't torture yourself. It wasn't your fault. You weren't driving the van!"

At that moment, I broke down. The knot in my throat had made its way through the walls I had built up and tears started to form on the edges of my eyes. "It is Clare. It is!" I shouted. "If I hadn't made those jokes, Bryan would still be here, but he's not and it kills me! Sometimes I wish I had got hit so I wouldn't be here to suffer anymore." I buried my head in my hands and sobbed. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks and I tasted salt on the edges of my lips. Clare wrapped her arm around me and pulled me towards her. She didn't once let go of my hand as she did. She didn't speak, but her presence, even through silence, signaled to me that she understood.


	17. Turned Tables

"You guys sicken me." K.C. and Fitz turned around to see Adam.

"What are you talking about?" K.C. asked seemingly nervous.

"You beat up my friend for a bottle of alcohol?" He asked; his direction towards Fitz.

Fitz walked up to Adam. "Yeah, that's right and what are you going to do about it?"

Adam's usually fragile face turned into one with a wide toothy grin. "Oh, I'll show you what I'm going to do." Adam grabbed the top of the bottle he saw hanging out of Fitz's jacket and tossed it on the floor. It smashed into pieces and liquid splattered all over the concrete sidewalk.

Not waiting to stick around, Adam ran as fast as he could; looking behind him every now and then to see if K.C. or Fitz had followed him. They hadn't which surprised Adam, but he wasn't going to take the chance of stopping. Inhaling a strong breathe, Adam pressed on forward until he reached Clare's house.

He poked his head in the front door and called out for Clare. "Clare, does Eli still want to kill me?" He asked with a half – laugh. Adam got no response and slowly walked into the living room.

I was resting on Clare's shoulder; my eyes still red and puffy from crying.

"Is everything okay? I'll leave if I'm really affecting you guys this negatively."

Even I couldn't hold back a laugh at that. "No, it's fine. I was just having a moment." I picked my head up off of Clare's shoulder and looked at Adam's hands. "What happened to this 'stuff' you had to get?" I asked forming air quote around the word.

Adam sat down between Clare and me. "Like I really had to get something," he said rolling his eyes. His hands were wet.

"Why are your hands dripping… alcohol?" Clare asked. A sweet odor had filled the air.

"Let's just say I ran into Fitz and K.C. on the way back and well… smashed their bottle of alcohol." Adam said.

I gave Adam a high five. "Great job, they must have been pissed."

"BOO- YAH!" Adam shouted enthusiastically as he rose from the couch.

"Dude, boo- yah?"

Adam faked a laugh and sat down.

"K.C. and Fitz were drinking?" Clare piped in.

"They had a bottle. It was still full, but it doesn't make it any less severe by having one."

"They beat up Eli because they were drunk?" Clare seemed even more pissed then the first time Adam had mentioned K.C. She stopped speaking and I could tell she was thinking hard.

"Uh…Clare, What's going on?" I asked feeling her presence drifting from the room.

"Let's just say K.C. and Fitz will pay when they get to Degrassi." She leaned past Adam and kissed me hard on the lips before vanishing into her bedroom.

Adam looked at me; both of my eyebrows were raised at this point.

"What just happened?"

"I have no idea." I said.


	18. Clare's Plan

"Adam, are you awake?" Clare asked rocking his shoulders back and forth.

Adam awoke with a jolt and sat up. He had fastened himself a cozy spot on the floor beside the couch using only a fluffy pillow and a blanket Clare had given him the night before. He yawned and said, "Please don't tell me you woke me up just to ask me that." He rubbed his eyes furiously.

"Well, obviously not." Clare outstretched her hand towards Adam who grabbed it and let Clare pull him up onto his feet. "I need to talk to you in private –"she said motioning her head towards Eli who was asleep comfortably on the couch. His pain had greatly subsided over the last two days and his bruises had lost the yellowish tint they had previously.

Clare led Adam into her bedroom which was surprisingly not as girly as Adam thought it would be. It was a pale blue color with a few family photos hanging from the walls. Her bed was centered perfectly and lined with white silk sheets and three stuffed animals by the pillows. A night table took its place beside her bed with only an alarm clock and lamp resting on the wooden surface.

"So, I think I thought of a way to get K.C. back for beating up Eli."

"I'm listening," Adam said, slightly intrigued to hear where Clare was going with this.

"Let's just say I know K.C. has been in a lot of trouble before. One more and they might send him away from his group home to his mother."

"I don't follow."

"If K.C. hates one thing on this earth, it's his mother. The group home he's in is considered a place for kids who want to change. They won't want K.C. if he goes back to his old ways."

Adam shook his head approvingly. "Alright, how do we do this?"

"Well…we're going to have to involve Bianca."

"Bianca would never do anything to K.C. They're friends or hookup buddies or I don't know something like that."

Clare slapped Adam on the shoulder. "We're not going to tell her it's for K.C. dummy."

"I knew that," Adam shot back adjusting his cap nervously. "But anyways, what's the plan?"

Clare began to pace back and forth from one end of her bedroom to the other. "We need to come up with some kind of payment for Bianca. She won't just give this stuff away."

"Got any cash?"

Clare glared at him. "Not enough if we want to get K.C. in trouble for a drug bust."


	19. Getting Morty

I couldn't see Adam or Clare when I woke up. Adam's pillow and blanket lay in a crumpled mess next to me. Just as I was about to get up to go look for them, Adam and Clare emerged from her bedroom; both looking deep in thought.

"May I ask why did both of you come out of Clare's bedroom?"

Clare and Adam both looked quickly at me. "Dude!" Adam shouted in a "what the hell" kind of tone.

"Someone's back to normal," Clare said. She made her way over the couch and planted a kiss on my lips.

"I was never normal, Clare," I joked.

A smile emerged on her face. "Can you go back to Degrassi or are you still feeling out of it? I'll stay home with you if you'd like."

"Clare Edwards, skipping school? I haven't heard that one before. Are you sure you're okay?" The offer was highly tempting to stay home a whole day with Clare, but I didn't want her to have to miss school just for me.

"One day wouldn't hurt."

"Gosh, I'm having such an influence on you," I teased and played with the ends of her hair as she sat down next to me. "If I'm going to go to school today I'm going to have to pick up Morty from the Dot and get my clothes."

Adam looked slightly confused. "You keep clothes in your car?"

"Yeah, I never know when I might need something."

"Is it safe to go by the Dot? K.C. and Fitz might be lurking around or ditching like usual," Clare said with a sense of annoyance rising in her voice.

"I'll go with him," Adam said grabbing his gray sweater that he had left on one of the stools in Clare's kitchen. He threw it on and waited for Clare's approval.

"Okay fine, but if you're not back in twenty minutes then –"

I kissed her; cutting her off in midsentence. She didn't seem to mind the sudden surprise and neither did I.

"We're never going to get Morty if you guys keep this up," Adam said heading towards the door.

I pulled away from Clare, and took a quick peak at her eyes that were encased in the sunlight drifting in from the window. At this point they were practically radiating a light blue. I kissed her on the cheek and to my surprise I was able to walk quite at ease towards the front door.

"You might want to um… button your shirt," Adam suggested.  
I looked down and saw my chest and stomach still exposed. "Thanks," I muttered as I buttoned up my shirt and headed out the door.


	20. An Opportunity Arrises

I walked to the Dot with Adam, picked up Morty, which luckily had not gotten any tickets for being left there so long, and started him up. There was a slight rumbling as the engine kicked into gear. I adjusted the rearview mirror and opened the passenger side door for Adam to get in.

"This is a little creepy," he said as he slammed the door shut.

I only smiled and put my foot gently on the gas pedal so I could successfully pull out of the parking spot. Within a matter of seconds both Adam and I were headed for Clare's house.

"Do your parents know you're here?" I asked. I didn't really know much about Adam's family, but for some reason I had a slight twinge of curiosity to ask.

"Nope, but honestly they don't care. As long as I come home at least once a week to prove I'm not dead, then I'm pretty much free to do what I want."

"That's rough. Why are they like that?"

Adam pointed to his cap, and then popped the collar on the back of his gray sweater. "They don't approve of what I am."

"Sorry, man," I said patting Adam on the back.

Adam shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about it. I've adjusted to it by now."

"Fetch the black bag for me from the back." I decided to change the subject quickly in case I was making Adam feel uncomfortable.

Adam craned his neck to look behind him and saw how long the car stretched. He shivered a little as he retrieved the bag almost as if he was expecting a body to magically appear and grab him.

He tossed it onto my lap. "I'm driving here, "I exclaimed, the bag grazing my hand as it fell into my lap. Morty jerked a little to the side.

Adam laughed and stepped out of the car as I pulled up in front of Clare's house. I got out from the driver's side making sure there were no cars coming down the road and took my black bag with me. I entered Clare's with Adam right behind me. Clare was all set to leave; wearing a long plaid t-shirt and leggings. She looked adorable.

"Give me two minutes and we can go," I said and rushed into the bathroom. The clock on the wall read: 7:35. I pulled out the first thing I could find; being a pair of tight blue jeans and a gray button down. Noticing I still had a bandage on my head, which made me look pretty silly, I pulled it off gently. The wound on my forehead was pretty much healed and when I combed my bangs to the side, it was covered perfectly.

Adam, Clare, and I all crammed into the front; Adam didn't want to sit in the back which I didn't blame him for. We got to Degrassi within a matter of five minutes. Its outside appearance was different then usual. There was white truck parked by the entrance of the school. A large banner hung over the front with the words: Hands on a Van Contest. Do you want V.I.P passes and tickets to The Dead Hand Reunion Tour of 2010? All you have to do is pay twenty dollars, keep your hands on the van the longest, and four tickets shall be yours.

"Dude, we have to enter," Adam said overjoyed. I never seen his smile so wide, but I couldn't blame him.

"Let's do this," I said. We both pulled out twenty dollars. I ran ahead towards the parked truck where both Holly J and Sav were sitting; their feet dangling over the sides. Bianca, Wesley, and a few other students who I didn't know were in front of me on the line.

….

Clare tugged Adam by the collar. "I think we have our form of payment. Make sure Bianca doesn't win."

"No way, I want those tickets," Adam said and started to catch up with Eli.

Clare grabbed him yet again. "You're not following. If you win, Bianca won't have a Dead Hand ticket. We could use it to our advantage and –"

"K.C. will be busted." Adam exclaimed even happier then before.

"Precisely," Clare said winking. With that in their minds, both Adam and Clare caught up with Eli who had just finished signing his name on the list. Adam followed his lead while Clare agreed she would wait on the sidelines until it was over.


	21. Hands On A Van

"How long do you think these suckers will last?" Sav asked Holly J, chucking as he did.

"It's been two hours, maybe even more. But, what do I care? They've already given us their money. Six hundred bucks for student council," Holly J exclaimed.

I looked around and saw there had to be approximately thirty kids on the van; all of their hands pressed firmly upon it. They each had determined looks to win The Dead Hand concert tickets, but they had to get passed me first. Adam was standing two spots away from me. Bianca and Wesley were between us.

"They were totally worth giving up the tickets," I heard Sav's voice suddenly ring in my ears. I looked baffled as he said that. Who in their right mind would give up these tickets?

"You gave up backstage passes to The Dead Hand?" Adam asked just as shocked as I was.

Sav threw his hands up in the air and shrugged. "It was all for a good cause."

"Because you're crazy," said Adam shaking his head and turning away from Sav. I had to agree with him on that.

"Ugh, what reeks? Have you ever heard of deodorant, Dr Doom?" Bianca wrinkled her nose and faced me. I couldn't resist a smirk at this point.

"Yeah, but today instead of ocean breeze, I used day old trout." After saying that I lifted up my armpit making sure she got a full blast. I didn't know I had smelled that bad. I'd have to fix that later before going to kiss Clare again. I turned my head around to see her waving and smiling at me.

Bianca made a face like she was going to vomit, grabbed her nose, and exhaled a breath. Her hand, in the process, had left the van which meant that was one less person for a chance of winning the tickets.  
"I really needed those passes," Bianca said storming off with her hair whipping in the wind. I slid over next to Wesley.

Adam gave me thumbs up using his free hand and did the same to Clare as well. I could see her face beaming.

"Hey Clare," I called out to her. "Can you get me some water? I'm feeling a little thirsty." As I said that, I saw Wesley's face reveal a distraught expression. I could use this to my advantage. Clare rushed over to me handing mea bottle of water. I kissed her thank you and waited to see when I would make my move to knock Wesley out of the running.

Within a few more minutes, about ten people dropped out of the running. It was now down to at least fifteen or perhaps seventeen hopefuls. Figuring out a way to knock Wesley from the competition, I began pouring some water out of the bottle Clare had just given me.

"You guys just want to… split the tickets," he asked, his legs fidgeting as he spoke.

"How do you split four tickets three ways?" I asked glancing at Adam who I'd obviously share the glory with of going to the concert. I tipped the bottle over some more allowing a heavy flow of water to spill out.

"I don't know," Wesley said, his legs buckling some more. He grabbed the top of his pants. "I just really have to go." And before I knew it Wesley removed his hand from the truck and sped off towards the nearest bathroom he could find.

It was now down to about five people; Adam and I included in the bunch.

"It's just you and me, fish-pits." Adam joked.

"I've got the bladder of a camel," I spat back and before I could realize it, my hand had slipped off the van.

I mumbled a few harsh words under my breath and walked towards Clare who said, "Good job anyways. I'm sure Adam will hold up."

Within another hour, Clare's words reigned true. Adam emerged from the truck victorious holding four passes to The Dead Hand in his grasp. "Who's the man," he screamed out, waving the tickets in the air. I grabbed them from his hand and looked over them still in shock they were even real.


	22. Set Into Motion

Leaving Eli and Clare to go find Bianca, Adam had wandered around the halls of Degrassi searching for her anywhere he could. He knew the K.C. revenge plan had to take place as soon as possible. He felt his side pocket, making sure he had taken back the tickets from Eli, who was still in utter disbelief Adam had won.

After searching almost everywhere around Degrassi, Adam found Bianca in the parking lot swinging on the door of a red car looking defeated and disappointed. H e took a breath and approached her; knowing she wouldn't be in a very good mood at the moment.

"Um… hi there."

Bianca turned around and popped out her right hip. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"I've um…got a deal for you." Adam said, his voice shaking a little. He didn't want to mess up.

Bianca surveyed him up and down, her expression reading that she was unimpressed. "What could you possibly offer me that would make me want to help you in any way?"

Adam pulled out a ticket from his side pocket. "Well, I have a ticket to The Dead Hand concert reunion show. I only need three and this one will be yours if you help me."

Bianca seemed to rethink her approach towards Adam. "This is a real deal?"

Adam nodded. "That's only if you want it to be."

"Hand over the ticket."

Adam obeyed and Bianca seized it instantly, placing it on the seat closest to the open door of her car. She faced Adam. "Okay, kid. What do you want?"

"I need some stuff," Adam whispered.

Bianca snorted as she laughed. "There are many types of stuff you know. What makes you think I could even get this for you?"

Adam pointed to The Dead Hand ticket. "I've heard a few things. Besides, you agreed to a deal and now you have to deliver."

Bianca looked around her seeing if anybody was coming. She hopped into her car and stretched her body towards the back seat. She ripped up a mat that covered the floor of the back which revealed a plastic bag of white powder. She grabbed it quickly and shoved it at Adam who hid it underneath the belt of his pants. He turned to go, but Bianca grabbed his arm.

"This stays between you and I. Do I make myself clear?" She asked.

Adam shrugged her off and fixed his sweater which had fallen off the top of his shoulder. "Crystal," Adam replied and he walked off, nervous, but quite proud of what he had done. It was now up to Clare to finish what they had started.


	23. Open Arms

After the Hands on a Van contest, the rest of the Degrassi school day consisted of a buffet that was being held by the student council in the gym. Clare and I already ate and were standing by her locker as she was putting away some school books she didn't need. Adam had made a quick trip to the bathroom.

I saw Clare's head look over my shoulder and I turned to see K.C. walking down the hall.

"Want to make K.C. a little pissed?" She asked with a wink.

"But, of course," I said smiling and I leaned in to kiss her. I let my hands slide down her waist and take hold of her hips. I pulled her in towards me until we were just lightly touching; her stomach against mine. She wrapped her arms around my neck. The kiss was almost breathtaking; a mixture of our joy, excitement, and passion. I didn't want it to stop. I wanted to keep holding on and not let her go.

I heard a loud obnoxious cough behind Clare and I. Our plan was working. I could almost feel K.C's anger behind me; the sense of envy running through his veins.

Clare and I pulled apart. She wiped the corners of my lip and stepped in front of me. "Can I help you?" she asked putting all of her weight onto her right foot.

"You're going to let him wear you around like a necklace?" K.C. shot at her. I felt a slight tingling of anger in me, but Clare seemed quite calm and relaxed; almost as a way of being spiteful.

"It's my choice who I want to date K.C. and whose supposed necklace I want to be."

K.C. shook his head and wagged his finger past Clare's face directing it towards me. "Why, Clare? You're going to choose that gothic punk over me?"

"I've already made my choice K.C. and you're not it. You've also made your choice by dumping me for Jenna and there's nothing you could say or do to change that."

I clapped as I heard that. "Nicely said Clare," I stepped forward and placed my arm around her waist showing a sense of pride that I was the one with Clare.

"Look pretty boy, Clare has plenty of time to change her mind and when she realizes how much of a waste of space you are, I'll be waiting to take her back with open arms."

Clare let out a forced laugh which egged on K.C. She walked forward and was now very close to K.C's face almost as if they were going to kiss.

"If I realized anything in the time you've broken up with me, it's that you're the one person in my life I don't need. And also, the only open arms you will have K.C. is the ones that are holding my picture that you cry to before you go to sleep every night."

K.C. let out a gasp. So did, I. Clare had just did the most amazing thing I've probably ever seen.

"Well then, goodbye Clare." By then I knew K.C. had nothing left to say. He shrugged his shoulders into a hunch and walked to his locker.

Adam came into view suddenly, red faced and out of breath. "I did it!" he shouted to Clare.

"Did what?" I asked; confusion mapping over my praises for the Clare and K.C. fight.

"Oh, you're about to find out."Clare said. Mr. Simpson had appeared outside his office and was making his way down the hall. He stopped in front of K.C. who was moping around by his locker, fiddling with his combination as he did so.

"Mr. Guthrie, I need you to open your locker now." Mr. Simpson said.


	24. Busted

"Mr. Simpson, what is this about?" K.C. asked leaning up from slouching on his locker.

"I'm sure it's just a rumor K.C., but –"

"What's just a rumor?" K.C. bellowed. The chatter ceased, focus was on K.C. along with Mr. Simpson, and the halls of Degrassi fell silent. Clare and Adam looked on watching with delight at what was going on. I on the other hand, was as confused as ever.

Mr. Simpson pointed at K.C.'s locker. "Just open it. I don't want this to get out of hand."

K.C. groaned and entered his combination. He tugged on his locker and it opened instantly. "I don't know what you're going to find in there," K.C. said as Mr. Simpson peered inside. His eyes widened and he pulled out a bag full of what looked like white powder.

"Mr. Guthrie – "He cut himself off and held the bag tightly in his palm.

K.C looked devastated; appalled at what was happening to him.

"But, sir, that isn't mine, I don't do that stuff." K.C. pleaded. Fear was in his eyes.

Mr. Simpson frowned. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this K.C., but you're chances have gone from slim to none. Follow me into my office."

"Sir, I'm begging you. You have to believe me. I didn't do it. I was framed."

Mr. Simpson turned to leave. "That is a matter to discuss in my office. Follow me, K.C."

K.C. didn't dare hesitate to move. He slammed his locker shut and followed Mr. Simpson. He glared at me as he did, his eyes accusing me of putting the drugs in his locker. However, I could say that I had nothing to do with this.

"Well, "Adam began, facing Clare and I. "That was remotely satisfying."

"You…You guys did this?" I asked. The thought still hadn't sunk in. Clare and Adam; criminal masterminds. Never would I have expected it to come from them.

"I found the one way to hurt K.C. just like he hurt you," Clare said.

"Telling him off was pretty hurtful to him too."

Clare shook her head. "Nah, I'd give it a week and K.C. would have been at my feet begging for me to take him back. "

"But, how did you guys do it?"

"Well, we simply used a Dead Hand ticket as payment for Bianca to give us the drugs. Clare used your um… things you do as a distraction for K.C. –

"Which I didn't mind at all," I said pleasingly, a smug expression hanging on the corners of my mouth.

Adam shivered. "Gross. Anyways, before we knew it, I had to take a 'bathroom break', get the drugs into K.C.'s locker which was easy considering his locker had always been loose, alert Mr. Simpson and –"

"You have one brilliantly evil plan," I responded.

"Precisely," Clare squealed.

"I must say I'm impressed. I never thought Clare Edwards and Adam Torres would be evil geniuses." I pulled them both into a hug.

"A genius, yes, an evil genius, only when needed," Clare said being modest for the first time ever since I've known her.

"What about Fitz?"

"Clare and I figured that without K.C., Fitz isn't much of a threat," Adam suggested.

I agreed with Adam. Fitz seemed to use K.C's head as brain. For him to even touch me during the fight, K.C had to command him. Now that the ringleader was gone, that meant Fitz would be just as useless as he was before.


	25. Interrogation

"Take a seat, K.C. Your mother will be here shortly." K.C walked into Mr. Simpson's office. There a principal's desk stood in the middle of the room with two chairs on one side facing one giant red armchair opposite them. Awards and achievements lined the walls glimmering as the sunlight shone in from the side window. A giant gray cabinet was in the corner with five draws. Each draw had specific letters of the alphabet on them and K.C. knew what that was for as soon as he saw Mr. Simpson heading for it.

K.C. pulled out a chair and sat himself down. He was staring blankly at the armchair. Mr. Simpson placed a file onto his desk and took a seat as well, adjusting his tie as he did. He folded his hands and let out a small cough before speaking.

"Look, K.C., I know you have been good for the majority of the year. What happened?"

"Nothing, nothing happened. Those drugs aren't mine."

"If something was wrong you could have gone to a teacher or Ms. Suave or –"

"There's nothing wrong with me, but being stuck here for something I didn't do." K.C. slammed his hand on the desk. Mr. Simpson jumped a little, seemingly startled at the abrupt outburst.

"Do not raise your voice with me," Mr. Simpson said sharply.

K.C. looked outraged. "Is this all one big game? My mother was messed up and now so is the kid?"

Mr. Simpson was taken aback at that comment. "K.C, no one is bringing your personal relationship with your mother into this. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this."

"The bottom line, Mr. Simpson, is that I was framed by –"K.C. stopped short and took a breath. If he said anything about Eli, he'd have to explain the motive behind Eli's possible desire for revenge. He hushed up and let the silence fill the office.

"You were going to say something K.C." Mr. Simpson asked.

"Forget it. You wouldn't believe me anyways." K.C. crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair.

Mr. Simpson was about to speak when K.C.'s mother entered the room along with the leader of K.C.'s group home, Mr. Walker.

"Thank you all for coming. I'm sorry I don't have enough chairs but I'll-"

"I'll stand," K.C said using any excuse he could to deflect an attitude at Mr. Simpson. His mom took a seat in K.C's chair while Mr. Walker took the other.

"Now what is going on here?" asked Ms. Guthrie.

"Well as I said over the phone Mrs. Guthrie-"

"Ms. Guthrie," she said correcting Mr. Simpson.

"Sorry, Ms, Guthrie, but K.C. as I said on the phone, is here for a drug bust."

"A drug bust?" both Ms. Guthrie and Mr. Walker gasped.

"Ms. Guthrie, Mr. Walker, we take drugs in our school very seriously. We do not want any trouble in Degrassi whether it is among our faculty or our pupils."

"Quite understandable," Mr. Walker agreed.

"Do you have evidence this is even K.C's so called drugs?" Ms. Guthrie chimed in.

Mr. Simpson sighed. "Well, Ms. Guthrie, they were found in his locker."

"And what rights did you have to search my son's locker?" she struck back.

"If any student sees or hears something we have the right to investigate," Mr. Simpson retorted.

Ms. Guthrie clapped her hands together and eyed Mr. Simpson. "And you'd say this student is a reliable one?"

This was turning into a heavy interrogation. Mr. Simpson tried to hide the fact that he was slightly intimidated by Ms. Guthrie. Mr. Walker shifted in his chair, feeling how uncomfortable the atmosphere in the room had gotten.

"Yes, quite reliable. He hasn't got into any trouble from what I –"

"Oh so that's how you judge students; favoritism and if they're a bad seed?"

Mr. Simpson twiddled his thumbs and tried to reason with Ms. Guthrie. "Ms. Guthrie, of course not, we're just trying to get to the bottom of this."

"I know my son and he's not some druggie your school pulled from the street."

"I never once said –"

Ms. Guthrie stood up and pulled down her shirt which had risen slightly above the waist of her pants. She leaned towards Mr. Simpson. "I think we're done here," she snarled.

K.C. watched astonished at how his mother easily made Mr. Simpson regret ever bringing him in here. The room remained silent. K.C glanced at Mr. Simpson who seemed horrified, Mr. Walker who appeared to want to say something, and his mother who was raging both inside, and out.

"I have something to add."Mr. Walker started off. "Whether our not the sources of this student was reliable, it did prove to be true. There were drugs in K.C's locker and as the leader of the group home, I'm sorry to say K.C. but, I must reevaluate if you are even trust worthy enough to stay there. "

K.C's sudden sense of happiness vanished just as fast as it had arrived. That only meant that Mr. Walker was considering his mother as a potential guardian.


	26. Pure Hearts

"I must say that had to be one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life," I said pulling up in front of Clare's house with Morty.

Clare and Adam laughed. "Thank you, Eli for the five hundredth time," Adam said getting out of the car. He escorted Clare out and both stood on the sidewalk waiting for me. We entered Clare's house and plopped ourselves down on the couch.

"Did you see K.C's face? He looked like he was going to die," I said, still unable to grasp what had happened.

"Oh, Eli, it really was no big deal," Clare said flipping her hair.

"No big deal, no big deal? Clare, not only did I get the most amazing kiss from my girlfriend, but she also took down one of the biggest jerks in our school." I kissed her gently on the lips.

I saw Clare's cheeks flush to a bright pink.

Adam made a fake gagging noise. "You guys give me the runs," he said, flipping to another station on the television.

"Better you then me," I responded to Adam who grinned brightly and refocused his attention to the television.

Clare's happy expression wiped from her face a few seconds later. "Um… guys," she began playing with a button on the top of her shirt. "I really love that you're here, both of you, but my parents are coming home tomorrow morning which means-"

"It's our queue to leave," I said, somewhat disappointed. I didn't want to go home. For the first time in a long time, I was actually happy. Adam seemed to feel the same way for he stopped changing through channels and his gaze was distant.

"I'm afraid so."

Adam rose from the couch and brushed off the end of his sweater. "Well, in that case, I better head out now. I've got a bit of a walk from here."

Just as he was about to head out, I stopped him. "You want me to drive you? It shouldn't take that long with Morty." But, Adam insisted to go and with a goodbye, Adam was gone.

"Do you think he's alright?" I asked Clare.

Clare shrugged. "I don't know. I guess he doesn't want to go home. I've had a great time with you and Adam this weekend, Eli. Things just felt right."

I agreed with her and took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together so that they were perfectly touching. "I know what you mean, Clare. It's a sense of happiness that comes over all three of us when we're together, almost like nothing could go wrong, but it's even stronger when it's me and you Clare." She leaned her head on my shoulder as I finished speaking.

"You're always welcome here Eli, but you might have to do some climbing through my window."

I kissed the top of her forehead and made sure our eyes made full contact. "I'd do that for you any time Clare."

"Thank you, Eli," she whispered. "Will you be okay at home?"

I sighed and shifted my feet. She snuggled her head up closer to me. "I really don't know, Clare. Things are rough at home. They always were." A sinking feeling filled my chest as I spoke those words. They were the truth, the brutal and honest truth that I've tried to hide just as much as I've tried to hide Bryan. I was scared to go home to see my mother. I wondered if she had noticed I was gone or if she cared even if she did. My heart did a flip inside my chest; a sense of panic was rushing over what I had just felt in my stomach.

"Whatever it is, promise me you'll be okay."

"Clare Edwards, I promise you that I'll be okay no matter what."

She moved her head from my shoulder and pulled me up with her as she lifted herself off of the couch. She tugged on my hand and I leaned in towards her. Our faces were close to each other. I could feel her breath on my lips. She pulled me in closer until our lips touched and I could feel a sense of compassion flowing throughout my whole body. Her kiss had a hundred meanings; the main one being she wanted me to be safe. My hands glided upward from her hips; outlining every curve of her body. I started to undo the top button of her shirt which was located directly above her chest. My palm could feel her heart tapping against it; the beating of a heart other than my own. I wanted to treasure Clare at this moment, make sure her heart stayed alive, to make sure it kept that gentle beating, and make sure it was never broken, torn, or lost inside her.

She pulled away for a moment and I thought she was going to be mad, but her eyes suggested otherwise.

"Not here," she said so low I couldn't have made it out if I didn't read her lips. I saw her glance down at a ring that she was wearing. I never took much interest in it before until she held it up to me in eye view.

"Pure hearts wait?"

Clare nodded and slid the ring onto the table. "Pure hearts wait, but our hearts are already pure Eli."

"Are you sure, Clare?" The last thing I wanted to do was force her into anything.

"Do you trust me?"

"With everything I have, Clare."

"Then, I'm ready."

And with that she guided me into her bedroom.


	27. The Morning After

I opened my eyes and saw Clare sleeping peacefully beside me. She looked beautiful, her face just catching the light at an angle and her minute freckles revealing themselves. I touched her cheek and she stirred, a smile appearing upon the edges of her mouth. I felt wholesome at this moment, like the scars of my past had faded away as mine and Clare's bodies had just previously united to form one. It was an enlightening feeling, something I always had desired.

"Good morning, Eli Goldsworthy," she said sweetly.

"Good morning, Clare Edwards," I responded and cuddled with her as we lay with the blanket wrapped tightly around us.

"Are you okay?" I asked wanting to make sure I had not damaged any part of her precious frame.

"Of course I am Eli. I was with you last night Eli and that's all that matters to me."

I kissed her lips softly and lay my head across her chest listening to her breathe. My head rose up as she drew in air and fell as she released it.

"What time is it?"

I peered over her shoulder at her alarm clock that was resting on the night table directly next to her bed. It read: 7:00am.

"It's seven o'clock," I said.

Clare jumped up causing my head to hit the headboard of her bed with a thud. She stood up apologizing to me with sincerity and gathered her garments from the floor. "Crap, my parents are going to be home any minute. They had an early flight."

I reacted the same way Clare had and began rushing around the room grabbing my stuff as quickly as I could. I threw on my jacket and my jeans, not bothering to put on my undershirt with such little time to spare.

At that moment, I heard the sound of a doorknob turning. Clare's face looked panic – stricken. I grabbed my black bag with all of my clothes and pushed open her window with my free hand.

She ran to me, unfreezing from her short dose of shock, and kissed me. "I'll see you at school," she said almost as a question.

"Yes, you will. Promise me you'll go The Dead Hand concert with Adam and me as well this Friday."

She nodded.

"Alright, let me get Morty out of here." And with that being said, I leaped out of her one story window and landed perfectly on my feet. I gave myself a little pat on the back and snuck to the front of her house making sure her parents had already gone inside. With the coast being clear, I opened up the driver's side of Morty and hopped in, pulling away all in a matter of two minutes. The only place I had to go at this point was home.

-Clare's Pov-

"Mom, dad," Clare screamed as she heard her parents fumbling around in the kitchen. Their suitcases rattled against the stools. "Hello, Clare," Mrs. Edwards said and wrapped her daughter in a tight embrace. "I'm so happy to see you."

"I am too, mom. How was the trip? Hi, dad," Clare leapt into her father's arms the moment she stopped speaking.

"It was a really good trip. Your father and I got a few good business proposals to lie down for next week. I hope you weren't too lonely here all by yourself," Mrs. Edwards said unzipping her suitcase and placing a few folders on the kitchen counter.

Clare shook her head. "Oh, I was perfectly fine. Just working on a little bit of homework and watching television. Yup, that's what I did," Clare said laughing whole – heartedly, trying to get herself to believe the words she was rambling on about at this point.

Her parents eyed Clare suspiciously, but felt there was nothing to gain by questioning her. "So, the funniest thing happened when we got home. There was a hearse pulled up in front of our house," Mr. Edwards said.

Clare put her hands on her hips and let out a forced act of surprise. "Really, well that's definitely something different." She slowly crossed from the kitchen to the living room and peaked outside the front window. Morty was gone.

"Are you feeling alright, Clare?" Mrs. Edwards asked, strolling lightly over towards Clare and placing her hand upon her forehead. "You have no fever."

Clare pushed her mom's hand away. "I'm fine, mom. I'm just happy you and dad are home. Boo – yah!" Clare turned making a face of disappointment about how she had handled the situation and caught a glimpse of something silver. She saw her purity ring lying on the coffee table and made a dash for it while her parent's backs were turned. "I'm going to get ready for school today. I'll catch up with you guys later."

She ran into her room and slammed the door. She leaned her back up against it and exhaled a breath of relief.

From the distance she heard her father ask, "When did Clare ever say boo – yah?"

"It must be a teenager thing," Her mother's voice echoed from the kitchen.


	28. Out Of Luck

"Thank you all for coming in so early," said Mr. Walker leading Ms. Guthrie and K.C. into Degrassi's conference room. A round table filled up most of the room surrounded by a large amount of chairs in every ounce of space possible.

To the far corner of the table was a man, adjusting his glasses upon the bridge of his nose, and rifling through papers in a briefcase. He was well dressed in a brown suit and a matching tie. He seemed to be anticipating the company.

"Hello, Ms Guthrie and K.C., my name is Mr. Xavier. I'm here to discuss with you, K.C.'s case."

Ms. Guthrie looked very displeased as she sat down across from Mr. Xavier. She clutched the strap of her purse angrily and motioned for K.C. to sit beside her. He ignored her and took a seat next to Mr. Xavier.

"Well, Mr. Walker you have presented me with evidence that K.C. is a great student. Let's see here –". Mr. Xavier began, turning a page over in a stack of papers. "You made basketball in the fall season and are now playing football is that correct, Mr. Guthrie."

K.C. nodded. "Yes, sir, that is correct."

"K.C. always loved sports," Ms. Guthrie chimed in.

Mr. Walker let out a slight cackle which signaled to Ms. Guthrie that she shouldn't speak.

"Moving on then, I've also noticed you're taking all gifted classes with straight A's. I've spoken with all of your teachers including Coach Armstrong who says you're a pleasure to work with. Would you agree with that, Mr. Guthrie?"

K.C. appeared to be startled. He didn't want to seem too cocky in his response. "I try my best, sir."

"It's clearly noted."

There was no sound from the room for a few moments; only the sound of papers flipping and being tossed around as Mr. Xavier searched through his briefcase some more.

"I see no flaw in your academic performance at all, K.C. However if this is so, what could have motivated you to take such a drastic action and keep drugs in your locker? Are you getting along with everyone at school? Are you stuck in the wrong crowd again, perhaps?" Mr. Xavier was unaware of how rudely he had come across by asking the last question.

K.C. cracked his knuckles trying to distract himself from sending himself into an uproar. "I've told Mr. Simpson, Mr. Walker, and now I'm telling you. Those aren't my drugs. I'm not stupid enough to start that stuff again."

Mr. Xavier lowered his spectacles. "I've never once questioned your intelligence, K.C. If you can not provide an accurate reason for why drugs would have somehow fallen into your possession, then I must discuss my final decision with Mr. Walker."

"There's nothing for me to say, sir." K.C. replied. He wished he could tell everyone in this room what happened with Eli, but even clearing the drug charges would not help the fact that he had bashed another student.

Mr. Xavier sighed. "Well then, I shall need a few moments to talk to Mr. Walker. Would you two please step outside?"

Ms. Guthrie and K.C. rose from their chairs and exited the conference room.

"I'm sure everything will be fine, K.C."

"For you, it's obvious I'm going to be sent to live you with you." K.C. spat. He couldn't deny it at this point. He was hoping for a miracle that somehow Mr. Xavier had a change of heart and let him stay with Mr. Walker, but he felt nothing spoken of in the conference room could save him.

"What's so bad about living with me for a change, K.C.?"

K.C. didn't waste his time to answer his mother's question. His mom had left him alone on the doorstep of the group home before being hauled off to prison. She never called or had written. Even Mr. Walker was stumped on the mystery of K.C's past until up to about a year ago. A letter had arrived from Ms. Guthrie saying she was free and wanted to claim K.C. All K.C. ever wanted was a family, but not one from a mother who he felt was only being here because she felt it was her duty as a parent and not as remorse for the pain she had embedded into K.C.

The front door of the conference room opened revealing Mr. Walker and Mr. Xavier who shook hands before departing.

"Well, K.C., Mr. Xavier is a lawyer and it is his firm request by the law that I send you to live with your mother. I'm sorry, son. But, as your mother, she has the right to care for you."

Mr. Walker gave K.C. a hug and K.C. watched him as he walked down the hall. He glanced at his mother who was crying most likely out of joy, but K.C. could find none in this situation.


	29. Murderer

I arrived home shortly and opened the front door to my house. I gasped as I stepped in side. It looked like a tornado had ravaged through. Papers and glass lined the floor. Dressers were upturned causing clothes to hang out from the drawer they belonged to. The curtains on the windows in the living room and kitchen were slashed directly down the middle leaving them crumpled on the floor in a ball. Wires from the nearest electrical outlet were spouting off blue tips of electricity.

I walked deeper into the house; my shoes crunching on glass as I did. I saw my mother's room looking just as wrecked as every other room. Her mattress was flipped off the bed, the floor was stained with what looked like some brand of soda, and her mirror she had above her bed was shattered leaving shards on her bed.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. What happened when I was gone? I made a dash to my room trying not to slip on some papers and pushed open my door. My room was untouched; as tidy as it had ever been as a matter of fact. I rummaged through closet, my drawers, even my computer. Not one thing was even an inch out of place. My bed was made with newly changed sheets by the scent of it. This wasn't a robber or anything of that sort. Before I could rule out any possibility to define what happened, I heard footsteps behind me.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to return home. What happened, Eli? Did you forget where you lived?" It was my mother.

I slowly turned around and there she was standing there; arms tightly crossed.

"I…I was staying at … a friend's house," I said my voice cracking in and out.

"Was that the case, Eli? You couldn't call or even stop by perhaps? As your mother I think I should have the slightest amount of respect to know where my son is."

I agreed, but my mother was scaring me. Her tone of voice was different. It wasn't threatening. It was serene, calm, like rain before a storm. My body was shaking where I stood.

"Are you here to stay now, sweetie?" My mother asked running her fingers through the ends of my hair. The further down she got the more she pulled at it. "Haven't you washed your hair? I have enough grease to fry an egg." She shook her hand furiously in front of her.

I remained still not even allowing my own breathing to be heard.

"What's wrong, Eli?" she asked putting her hand on my cheek. "Aren't you glad to be home?"

Before I could respond, I felt a jolt of pain over taking my whole face. My neck snapped towards the right and I wanted to yell out in agony. Managing to reset my neck back to facing frontward, I felt my cheek. It was hot and prickling. I saw traces of blood drip down onto the floor. My mother's nails had swiped at my face leaving what seemed to be claw marks.

She was watching every move I made not looking any bit sorry for striking me.

I felt my jaw crack as I opened my mouth. A new found sense of wrath was rising through my body filling me up with something I've never felt before.

"So that's it is it, mom? HIT ME AGAIN, I DARE YOU! I'm not scared of you anymore. You're a coward. You hide behind everything you can to make yourself look good. I now realized why dad left you and you know what, he made the best decision he could have. You're weak, mom!"

My voice was raised at such a high pitch that I felt my vocal chords straining to continue, but I couldn't hold back anymore. Bottling things up was too much for me anymore.

Just as my mom was about to speak, I cut her off. "You think hitting me would shut me up. You think it'd make me bow down to you. I've felt pain way worse then you could ever give me." I lifted up my shirt and showed her my bruises that still lined most of my torso. "Four kicks to the ribs, mom and look at this too." I flipped my bangs upward and showed her the cut on my forehead, which had healed up but there was a scar fairly visible in its place.

I pointed to my cheek which blood was still running down from. "As for this, I'll just add it to the list of all the wounds life has given me because if anyone has given me the most, it's you mom. You left me here for hours while you worked. You broke our family apart and when my best friend died every hope of me ever feeling emotion again went with him and did you care? No."

My throat was pulsating by now and my tongue was dry, but I fought through it. "The only people who make me feel like a real person, like I mean something, are the girl I'm in love with and one of the most amazing friends I've met at Degrassi."

I stopped speaking and walked up to my mother making sure she could get a clear view of my face. I wanted her to see what she done, the fury that burned through my eyes. I lowered my voice to a whisper, gritted my teeth together and said, "Yell at me, hit me, even kill me for all I care, but when it comes to the end of the day, you mean nothing."

There was a sound of glass breaking as my mother backed away from me. I stared her down, my heart thumping furiously and offbeat in my chest. My hands were clenched up into tight fists and the only reason I noticed was because of the bloodshot red hue they now resembled.

"I'm taking a shower, packing up my stuff, and I'm leaving."

My mother didn't acknowledge anything I had said. Her eyes were dead; a soul wrenched out leaving behind a lifeless body.

Without waiting for a response, even though I knew there wouldn't be one, I headed to the bathroom which aside from everything being thrown around in shambles was decent compared to the rest of the house.

I let the water from the shower run down my body on the highest temperature of heat I could take. It soothed me as it seeped through every pore, every ounce of my damaged and semi aching skin. It was the fastest shower I ever took and in a timeframe of five minutes I was dressed and ready to leave for good.

I grabbed a handful of clothes, my laptop, and all the money I had combined in my drawers. I tossed all of it into my black bag which was residing in the center of my room.

I made my way to the front door and took one final glance of my mother. Her body still hadn't changed positions. Straight back, hands drooping at her sides.

"Goodbye, mom, "I said and turned the doorknob.

"Eli," she called out. "You're just like your father, you know, except he wasn't a murderer."

My mouth dropped and I thought my ears had deceived me. My defenses seemed to shatter and I thought she had pierced every major organ of my body with a jagged edge.

I tore out of the house slamming the door shut and went inside my car. I threw my bag in the back and I felt hot tears streaming down my face.

"I DIDN'T KILL HIM!" I screamed pressing my hands so hard into the steering wheel the horn went off. I jumped and put Morty into gear which sprang to life in the fastest amount it time it had since I bought it. I began to drive away from my house, tears fogging up my eyes.


	30. Finding Eli

Clare walked into Advanced English and took her seat. She didn't see Eli who would usually be sitting in front of her with his typical smirk slapped across his face. Come to think of it, she didn't see Morty in the parking lot either and with a hearse as a car, it wasn't hard to miss.

Adam was sitting on the top of his desk two rows across from Clare apparently wondering the same thing she was as their eyes met. He hopped off his desk and walked over to her.

"Where's Eli?" he demanded.

"I don't know. He told me he was going to be here today." Clare said frantically turning her attention towards the door of the classroom as she heard someone entering the room. It however, was only Ms. Dawes.

"Settle down, class. Mr. Torres, to your seat immediately," she said without even a glance upward at Adam.

Adam looked distraught, but rushed to his seat.

Ms. Dawes knocked on the board making all the usual hustle and bustle in the classroom fizzle out to nothing but silence. "Now that I've got your attention, we are going to continue with our memoirs yet again. So, get with your writing partners. I will be walking around to make sure you are doing what you're told. Final copies will probably be due around next week. You may begin."

Adam watched as Ms. Dawes took a seat in the front and as quietly as he could, Adam snuck into Eli's seat.

"Clare, Clare," he whispered tapping on her shoulder vigorously.

She shifted positions in her seat to face Adam and ignored her writing partner who scowled at her.

"Lack of attention, much?" she muttered under her breath.

Clare's rolled her eyes. "We need to find Eli. I'm worried Adam. When I asked him if he wanted to go home, he looked well… scared. I think something happened."

"Let's not think like that Clare. Eli's tough. I'm sure he's fine."

"Then why isn't he here?"

"I don't know, Clare. I don't freaking know. Maybe he's trying out a new hair style or something."

Clare grabbed Adam's wrists that were lying on the table and squeezed them hard. "This isn't a time for jokes, Adam, got it?"

Adam fought his way out of her tight hold. "I'm sorry, bad habit. We're going to find him."

"How exactly are we going to do that?"

"Mr. Torres. Ms. Edwards. I don't remember assigning you both as English partners. I also don't remember you having Mr. Goldsworthy's seat either." Ms. Dawes was now towering over Clare and Adam. Clare directed her eyes towards her paper while Adam was staring at her with a foolish grin smeared upon his face.

"Well, you see, Ms. Dawes –"Adam began shuffling his feet as they hung from the seat. "My partner isn't here, so I asked Clare if I could work with her and her partner."

"When does the work part begin exactly?" Clare's English partner Alicia shot back coldly holding up her unmarked paper for Ms. Dawes to see.

Ms. Dawes didn't look pleased. "Mr. Torres, next time you're partner isn't here you tell me. It's my job to match you up with suitable partners. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Ms. Dawes." Adam said softly.

"Good, now I suggest you, Ms. Edwards, and Ms. Clearwater get to work or I will be docking points."

When she left, Clare and Adam returned back to their conversation while Alicia furiously pushed the tip of her pen into the top of her desk.

"That was close."

"You think?" Clare asked tilting her head to the side. "Look, I can't focus with Eli not being here. We have to go look for him."

Adam leaned in closer to Clare making sure Alicia wouldn't hear any more of their conversation since he had seen her listening previously. He gave her a scathing look making her gasp and return to editing Clare's paper.

"After this, we'll sneak out the side entrance and go look for him. Do you have any ideas where he might be?"

Clare shook her head, looking unsatisfied. "The Dot is my only guess. I'm not sure where he lives."

"Me either, but we're just going to have to look. It shouldn't be that hard to find a hearse in the city."

"Do you think he took Morty?" Clare asked hastily, her worries growing as the second hand on the clock ticked.

"Of course he did. Morty's his car. He keeps his clothes in there for crying out loud, Clare."

Clare couldn't deny that. "Okay, we might as well make ourselves useful until the bell rings."

Adam agreed and moved his desk closer to Clare.

"You guys are like finally done chit chatting now? Good, because this whole story sucks Clare. A gothic kid's affection you're yearning to always be with you? I could write better stuff with my eyes closed."

Clare's hands wrapped around Alicia's paper and if Adam hadn't stopped her, she would have ripped it to shreds.

"This needs to be juicer, Clare. Way too much description and way too sappy," Alicia said. Clare never saw a pen move from line to line so fast.

"It's a memoir; it's supposed to have detail."

"Whatever," Alicia replied popping her gum. "What about you, Adam? You have a story that could do better then this."

"I wouldn't show her mine even if it guaranteed me an A," he said quietly by Clare's ear as he pretended to stretch.

"I'm guessing not then."

Much to Clare's and Adam's relief, the bell rang and they rushed out, glad to be free of Alicia and had their hearts set on finding Eli.

They pushed open the side door and began running past the Degrassi parking lot and down the main street.

Clare clutched her chest as they finally stopped by The Dot. Adam peered in the front window only to see a few customers sipping mugs of coffee. Clare had checked the alleyway in the meantime which was bare aside from a few overloaded trashcans.

"What now?"

Clare tried to rattle her brain and see if Eli had mentioned anything that could help her locate him. She snapped her fingers. "I have an idea, but it might take a while to get there."

"Can a bus get us there?" Adam asked pointing at a double decked bus that was pulling up towards a stop on the end of the street.

"Yes it can. Let's go." Adam and Clare ran just making the bus before it pulled away, emptied out the change they had to scurry to find in their bags, and took seats near the back.

They both sat down without uttering a word to each other.

The bus slowed down a little as it hit a bump, but regained speed. Stores and houses passed by quickly and before Adam realized what was happening, Clare was dragging him off the bus.

Adam didn't know where he was. There were small thrift shops and apartment buildings packed tightly together that were identical for every street Adam and Clare could see in their view. However, what wasn't the same was a hearse parked in front of the only space there was; an old abandoned alleyway.


	31. Three Words, One Meaning

I had stopped crying by now. At least an hour or two had passed. I was sitting in the back of my hearse with my knees up to my chest cradling them between my forearms. My head was wandering, my emotions running face paced through me flickering between despise and depression.

A loud knock was heard on the passenger side of Morty. I didn't budge from my spot. The knock continued and I heard voices that I instantly recognized.

"Eli, open up." Clare and Adam called out at the same time.

My heart lunged to go open the door, but my mind ordered me to stay put.

They didn't stop, but continued to knock louder and faster. I caved freeing myself from solitude, and opened up the door. I crawled to the back yet again.

"Eli, what happened to –"Clare cupped her hands to her mouth as she saw a glimpse of my face. I assumed the cut was now swollen therefore showing the claw marks to be deeper and more visible.

Adam had the same reaction she did. Both of them made their way into the back slamming the door shut and sat around me.

"What happened to your face?" Clare said reaching her thumb up to touch it. I pulled my head away; feeling a searing pain rising in my spine as it did.

Clare flinched. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She said, tears beginning to appear beneath her eyes. I saw them and just wanted to kiss her. I wanted every tear I saw to vanish with each touch of my lips upon hers, but I remained still.

Adam hugged Clare as she sobbed quietly into his sleeve. "Eli, for real, man, what happened?"

I commanded my mouth to open, to speak, to make some sort of noise. "It was my mom. She flipped that I was gone and she struck me which explains the mark on my cheek. I never felt such a hate for a person before and I couldn't stop myself from yelling. I said everything I had wanted to say to her in minutes and then she-"I inhaled a breath. "She said I was exactly like my father except I was a murderer."

Clare pulled herself out from Adam's sleeve and looked at me sharply. She grabbed my shoulders. "You can't believe one word of that. You hear me, Eli?"Her voice came across stern and strong as she spoke.

Adam agreed with Clare even though he didn't know about Bryan. "I may not know why your mom said that, but I know you well enough to know you're not a killer. Not now and not ever."

I had never felt so loved and reassured as Adam spoke those words. They gathered around me pulling me into them. I rested my head on Clare's shoulder and Adam leaned his head against mine. I decided at the spur of the moment to tell Adam what had happened. I hoped he'd still want to be my friend afterwards.

When I finished telling Adam, his expression didn't change much. "Wow, that's a mouthful," he replied. "Look, Eli, I don't care what happened in the past. There's a reason it's called the past right? You know my secret and you accepted me so I'm going to do the same for you." Adam's words were sincere and touching and at that moment I knew there was no way he'd leave my side.

I smiled a big toothy grin. "You really are something."

"As long as it's something good then, I'm okay with that." Adam said making his way to the front of Morty.

"Where are you going?" Clare and I both asked.

"I think you two might need some alone time. I'll get something for all of us to eat. You look like your stomach might eat itself, Eli. No offense intended, I mean."

"Thanks, Adam. I think I should take my words back," I teased and with a high pitched roar of laughter, Adam was gone.

"I should have let you stay with me. I shouldn't have made you go home. I'm such a horrible person." Clare began to ramble, choking as she was trying to stop the urge from crying.

I felt my heart wrench inside of me. Clare was hurt because of me. I was afraid of this. "Clare, listen to me. I'm leading you on."

Her lip was quivering. She pressed it into a line to try and hide it from me. "W…what do you m…mean?"

"Look at what happened just today, Clare. I don't come to school and you and Adam have to rush out coming to search for me because you know something's wrong. I can't and I won't put you through something like this. I'm not worth it, Clare, I'm not."

"So everything we've done together… it means nothing?"

"It means everything. I'm falling for you, Clare, hard. I've never felt this way about anyone before. The butterflies, the passion, and the unexpected romance we both fell into together. It scares me because every night before I go to sleep, I wonder if I'm going to lose you, if you'll want to stay around after every memory that I've shared with you. And then, I think about picturing my life without you and I can't."

Her eyes were sparkling with the remnants of hot tears. "I'm frightened too, Eli. I have been since the day I met you, but I let my pessimistic thoughts drift to the back of mind because I knew you were worth fighting for."

Something came over me. What was I doing? I couldn't let Clare leave. I couldn't push her away.

I pulled her into a kiss which she wasn't expecting at all. I let my lips force hers apart. We were tightly bonded now, my hands circled around her waist, to make sure she couldn't leave my grasp. This kiss was our roughest; intensity was blaring through both of us. My hands began to wonder around her body; the soft skin of her stomach as I slipped up through her shirt. I shifted my position so that I was now almost standing above her. Our lips dared not to leave each other. She placed her hands on my face caressing it; gently as to avoid my wound. Clare pulled me down on top of her. My chest was pressed against hers.

I stopped kissing her lips and made my way down to her body. I moved the straps of the shirt she was wearing and placed kisses around her shoulders, collarbone, neck, and chest. I bit at her neck playfully unable to hold back my sense of lust. Clare let a small sigh of pleasure. After a few seconds, she sat up and I moved with her almost as if I was her muse. She crushed her lips hard against mind and unraveled my shirt in a short time exposing my bare torso. Her hands explored this time, outlining my slight presence of abs and my chest. I could feel a smile that had outstretched upon her lips. Releasing her hands from my body, she bit my bottom lip and broke apart from me catching her breath.

"I love you, Eli." Those words took my breath away.

"I love you too, Clare." I responded and ran my hand gently through her soft hair. She leaned up against my chest and I cradled her between my arms until Adam came back.


	32. Breaking Away

"Hey, K.C, what's going on?" Bianca asked as she strutted up to him. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and pressed her weight onto his locker.

K.C. didn't seem at all amused by her entrance. "Just go away, Bianca."

She huffed. "Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"Someone's going to be staying in bed for a long time," K.C. spat propelling his fist forward into his locker. The hard plastic crunched leaving a small outline of K.C's knuckles.

Bianca shuddered, her eyes focused on the dent. "K.C-"her voice trailed off, for once not containing any hint of flirting behind it.

"I got suspended if you must know. Where's Fitz?"

"You got suspended for how long and for what?" Bianca had been oblivious to K.C's question.

K.C. took hold of Bianca's arm and dragged her down the hallway away from a passing group of students. "Tell me where Fitz is so I can explain to both of you."

"You better," she hissed and led K.C. further down the hall by the gym. She pushed open the door and Fitz was alone lifting up a dumbbell in his right arm.

He flexed as Bianca walked in trying to show off his poor example for a build. "Hey, Bianca, are you enjoying the view?"

"Keep dreaming, Fitz. Pretty boy here wants to talk to us."

Fitz lowered the dumbbell to the floor of the gym and made his way over to K.C. wiping some sweat from the top of his brow. "Is that gothic kid asking for another brutal beating?"

"I've been suspended for drug possession for three weeks and I think that he did it."

"I wouldn't be surprised. Kids like that have all types of connections." Bianca said picking some bright red polish off of her nails.

"These weren't just any drugs, Bianca. They looked like the ones you kept in the backseat of your car. Small plastic bag, loaded with enough drugs to last a month or two."

Bianca stomped her shoe on the floor in disgust. "Are you saying I'm the one who got you into this?"

"You tell me, Bianca. Were you really lying low the day Fitz told me you had a hangover or were you diabolically plotting behind my back?"

Fitz stepped in front of K.C. blocking his view from Bianca. "Lay off, man. You don't go around yelling at Bianca like that. You need to calm down. "

K.C. lunged at Fitz pinning his shoulders against the wall. Fitz arched his back to prevent a total collision with the brick to his spine.

"Did you not here what I just said? I got suspended which means I have to move in with my mother now."K.C's eyes were bulging out of their sockets.

Fitz pushed K.C. off causing him to stumble before regaining his balance. "I'm not the cause of your little mommy and son bonding time. Besides what do I care?"

Bianca noticed a flash in K.C.'s eyes like he was ready to spring on Fitz again. She seized the moment and screamed out" Cut it out, both of you! This is stupid. K.C, you got to go live with your mom, boo freaking hoo. Fitz, you need to stop being an ass. Are we done? Good." She clapped her hands together and put on an overdramatic smile that matched her cocky attitude.

"We're not done Bianca," K.C. said and grabbed her arm rendering her unable to leave. "I want to know how Eli got your drugs."

She locked her teeth tightly together as she saw how tight K.C. was gripping her arm. She contorted it and wiggled herself free. "Don't touch me like that ever!" Her voice was threatening, but K.C. was unwilling to back down until he got an answer.

"Tell me now, Bianca. You're changing the subject. Answer me."

"Come on, B. The sooner you tell him the faster he'll leave you alone." Fitz was getting defensive by now. He was forcing his arms to stay swaying by his sides almost as if he was going to hurt K.C. at any moment if he went after Bianca again.

Bianca let her hands slam against her hips. "Look, K.C. I didn't give drugs to anyone. I –"Bianca stopped speaking. "Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, this isn't good."

Fitz's voice held a sense of alarm in it. "Bianca, what did you do?"

"Well, funny thing here is I um… might have sold drugs to one of Eli's friends."

"WHAT?" K.C's and Fitz's voices both rang out through the gym leaving a mild echo.

Bianca scrunched the ends of her puffy black hair. "I didn't mean to. He offered me a deal and I had to take it."

"What could a friend of that scrub possibly offer you that would make you give him drugs, Bianca?" K.C. was fuming. There was spit hanging from the side of mouth and his lips were pursed tightly together.

Bianca reached her hand into the side pocket of her jeans and pulled out The Dead Hand ticket Adam had given her. "The ticket to the most amazing concert in the universe, that's what."

K.C snatched it from Bianca's hand and ripped it in half. He sprinkled the pieces of the white ticket across the front of her heels. "Try going to the show now."

Bianca's mouth was hanging open.

K.C's lack of care was evident. Fitz on the other hand had the same shocked face as Bianca.

"Why the hell would you do that, K.C? That was my only chance of going to that concert." She ran up to K.C. and pushed her hands into his chest repeatedly shoving him back a few steps each time.

"Do you care about anything other then your hair, clothes, or let me think yourself?"K.C spat.

Fitz lifted up Bianca by her waist to get her away from K.C. She was thrashing her legs furiously until he put her down. "Ripping up Bianca's ticket didn't help you in any way did it? Go after Eli and relieve yourself if you want someone to get angry at."

K.C threw his hands up in a fit of rage. "Oh yes, I think I'll do that, Fitz. I'll go beat up Eli, get caught, and have to explain to Mr. Simpson that I thought he put drugs in my locker to get back at us because you and I beat him up. Then, to top things off I'll say that Bianca unknowingly was the source of the drugs which she passed on to his friend so he could frame us. How does that sound, Fitz?"

"Not good."

"Exactly we've been screwed by a bunch of poor excuses for human beings."

"Is your ex one of them K.C?" Bianca asked spitefully, a sinister smile taking over her mouth.

K.C. raised his finger up to Bianca and pointed it at her. "Fuck you." The words rolled off his tongue like fast acting venom. Bianca had fallen silent for the first time since K.C. had known her.

Fitz made a swing at K.C, but he missed. K.C. grabbed Fitz locking him into a tight chokehold. Fitz was gasping for air and K.C. took this as a sign to release him knowing he wouldn't try anything funny afterwards.

He shook his head in disbelief at Fitz. He didn't know why he was friends with these people who had slowly made him spiral down into his own path of destruction. "I thought you guys were my friends, but I've realized that you guys are just working together to help yourselves. I've never met such low lives."

"Is that what you think because for a while you were one of us?" Fitz exclaimed.

"With much of my regret but, yeah, that's what I think." And without turning back, K.C. strode out of the gym.


	33. Star Crossed Lovers

"Okay, so I got plain, wheat, sesame, and everything bagels." Adam said propping a brown paper bag in the middle of Clare, him, and I.

I dipped my hand into the bag and pulled out a plain bagel. "You're making it seem like we're supposed to have extravagant tastes in bagels," I said taking a huge bite out of it. It tasted satisfying in my mouth considering I had skipped out on breakfast. My mouth watered.

"I just wanted to give you guys a selection."

"Well, I think it's lovely of you, Adam," Clare replied giving me a cold look that made me grin. She picked out a sesame bagel from the top and nibbled on it. Even the way she ate was cute.

"Thank you, Clare."

"All hail Adam for bringing us bagels." I lowered my head before him and bust out laughing.

"You're such an ass, Eli." Adam retorted whacking me on the back of my head.

I feigned an offended look on my face as I clutched the back of my head.

"Okay, boys," Clare interrupted in a motherly sort of tone. She shook her head and refocused her task to eating the bagel.

"What happens now?" Adam questioned.

"Well," I began making sure to swallow before speaking. "I'm not going to stay at Clare's and risk her getting into trouble. I think I've caused enough." She made a gesture as to object, but I didn't let her speak. "Is there any way I could stay with you?"

"I don't see why not. Just don't mind my demanding mother, silent father, and preppy step brother."

"Any family is better then mine. I'll sleep in my car so I don't take up much of your room. It's pretty roomy in the back of Morty anyways," I said knocking on the floor. "I may need a pillow or two, but –"

Adam had exploded into a fit of laughter. "Eli, do you really think I'd make you sleep in your car? I don't know how you'd even sleep in this thing. It's creepy if you ask me."

"Morty takes high offense."

Clare giggled and so did Adam. "I'm very sorry to you then, Morty, but I think your owner is a little over protective."

"Do you guys think it's funny to mess with me?"

Clare was the first to nod. "Sorry, Eli, I just can't help seeing that adorable pouty face when you're mad," she exclaimed, her cheeks a little flustered.

"Aw, how adorable," Adam said in a mocking tone.

"If you had a set of nards, I'd have the greatest urge to kick them right now."

Clare looked at me quickly and Adam flashed me a look. Damn, I had let the joking cross the line.

"What do you mean if exactly?" Clare asked her eyes directing all its attention towards me.

"Um… nothing, nothing at all, Clare," I lied. I was terrible when it came to trying to lie to Clare.

Adam broke the tension. "Eli, relax, I'll tell Clare."

My breathing resumed to a calming state.

"Tell me what?"

"Well," Adam started off, the conversation seemingly awkward as the moment of silence played out. "I'm one hundred percent dude, but I was born in a girl's body. I'm an FTM, a female to male transgender."

Clare's reaction was perplexing. Her expression was empty almost. "That's…different."

"Do you have any questions? Are you freaked out or anything?"

Clare shook her head instantly. "No, not at all. I just never would have figured it out on my own. How long have you known?" She folded her hands neatly upon her lap.

"I believe it was around the age of four or five. I just never liked myself being in a girl's body. I slowly began to change starting with how I walked and when I reached teen hood, I became Adam once and for all."

Clare's face broadened into a heartfelt smile. I was filled with a spontaneous sense of delight as I saw how she accepted Adam just like she had accepted me, with ease, and with love.

"I'm glad you're Adam. I couldn't see you as anybody else."

Adam hugged her. "Thank you, Clare. I just wish my family would see it the same way as you and Eli. They always want me to comport myself to be something I'm not."

"You don't have to change who you are, everybody else does. The only expectations you have to reach are your own, Adam."

I put my arm around Clare and squeezed her arm. "Spoken like a true genius, "I said and kissed the top of her forehead.

"You have words of wisdom to last ages, Ms. Edwards," Adam said tipping his cap to her.

"Never say that again," Clare directed at Adam with a chuckle.

Adam agreed at once and he swallowed the remaining piece of his bagel in one bite.

"How are we getting to The Dead Hand concert on Friday?"

I banged my knuckles on the side of Morty in response to Clare. "Morty should be able to get us there and back hoping he doesn't break down."

"That's reassuring."

"Don't be so negative Clare." I curved my lips into a crooked smile that I knew she couldn't resist. It proved to be true when her eyes dodged me and she turned away.

"This is going to be the best concert I've ever seen. There's a hero among us," Adam boasted.

"Keep going on and I might just leave you there." I had to let the snide remark slip just because I knew it would mess with Adam's head a little bit.

"If you think of doing that to me your ticket will magically vanish."

"That's one evil and emotionally scarring plan. I like it."

Adam's face bore the expression of triumph as he seemed to his enjoy his somewhat witty comeback that I approved of. We were all silent for a while. From what I guessed all of our minds were wondering freely, mine especially.

I was watching Adam who was now lying down with his hands behind his head gazing up at the black ceiling of my hearse. His feet were swaying from side to side almost as if he had an addicting pop song stuck in his head that he couldn't get rid of.

Clare was still sitting her shoulders hunched slightly. Her hair was still slightly messed up from our intense make out session and when I had run my fingers through it. She really was a precious person both inside and out. Was it her eyes that shone like crystals, her nose as small as a button, her lips full and luscious to kiss that made me attracted to her? Or was it her smooth hands, her delicate, but yet curvy body, her long legs? No, I realized it was none of those things. It definitely added to the reasons why I had loved her, but those weren't the reasons I had fallen IN love with her. She was different, charming, sensitive, a pain in the ass sometimes that you couldn't ever dream of hating. She was a girl with ambitions and chances to get them. She was someone with a heart meant to be shared with the whole world, but yet she shared it with me, only me. I couldn't even begin to express how that felt; to know that one of the most amazing people in the world was taken and by me; someone who was her total opposite.

We had come from other worlds. Clare was stable, secure, confident, with a family, and friends. I was fragile, defensive, confusing, with only her and Adam who could even give me a sense of the person I truly am meant to be.

Yet Clare and I had fallen in love, a deep love, like that of Romeo and Juliet.


	34. Masked Eyes

Clare arrived home at 3:30 which was her usual time she would get home if she had gone to school. Quite cautiously she opened up her front door unaware if her parents were home or if they had found out about her skipping.

However, only Clare's mom was home mopping the living room floor. Clare slid past her or so she thought.

"Hello, Clare," her mother said somewhat different then her usual bubbly toned voice.

Clare thought she was busted at that very moment, but she tried to keep a wave of calmness over her face. "Hello, mother, how was work today?"

"Oh, the usual, business deals, stuck up employees." Her mother didn't once look up from mopping the floor.

"Well, that sounds like work." Clare giggled nervously and brushed her hair with her fingers.

"How was school?"

Clare's face drained to a pale white. "It was um… you know full of work. I worked on my English assignment even though my lab partner is a total snob and um… that was the most eventful part of my day." Clare slowly began to edge her way out of her mother's radar, but her attempt failed.

"Are you sure that was the only thing that happened to day?" Her mother asked turning and laying the mop against the couch nearest to her.

"Why do you ask?" Clare could feel her palms beginning to sweat.

"Oh, Clare, don't think I didn't notice. You came home in a hearse?"

Clare hid a small sigh of relief. She'd rather be caught by being in Eli's car then skipping school especially with how her parents weighed that on her shoulders. "Oh," Clare began. "My friend decided to give me a ride."

Mrs. Edward did not look at all pleased. She put her hands on her hips. "Which friend would this be?"

"Eli," Clare couldn't speak his name without getting a warm feeling inside of her stomach. She tried to pass it off as rapidly as she could, but she felt flooded with thoughts of Eli. Her desires longed for him to be kissing her again, holding her, making her feel the love that she always wanted.

"I'm assuming that stands for Elijah."

"What does that matter?" Clare snapped not able to understand where that outburst came from.

Her mother seemed to come on stronger as Clare's defensive side came out. "Are these the type of friends you should be having, Clare? A hearse isn't exactly a normal choice for a car."

"I can't choose people's taste in cars, mom," Clare laughed trying to make the serious tension vanish.

Her mom seemed to ignore what Clare had said all together and went on with her other questions. "So, do you like this boy or something, Clare?"

There was no way Clare could hide this now. She could almost feel the heat radiating from her cheeks as they went from her normal color of white to pink. Her eyes diverted to the mop and she lunged for it. "Do you need help mopping, mom? This floor is just so dirty."

Clare began to harshly scrub the floor with the mop moving from side to side.

Mrs. Edwards was not fooled by the tactic. "Clare, have you ever reconsidered your options. This Eli kid doesn't seem like a wise choice for you."

"Mom, this is my choice and besides you can't help who you fall for."

"Fall for-"Her mom let out a gasp. "Have you fallen in love with this boy?"

Clare let the mop cascade to the floor. It fell right at Mrs. Edwards's feet which didn't even budge.

"So, what if I am?"

"He just doesn't seem good for you. What happened to that lovely boy, K.C.?"

"K.C was a jerk." Clare said trying to remain calm. K.C. always had that power to rile her up on the inside even though she had no feelings towards him anymore. It was more of disgust, a betrayal of a once good friend to her.

Her mother over exaggerated a sigh which read off as disappointment to Clare. "Look, Clare, it's very easy at your age to get caught up in a teenage fantasy. You think you might be in love sweetie, but give it time and well; you'll realize that it was just a phase." Mrs. Edwards picked up the mop and stared at Clare waiting for her to answer.

Clare pursed her lips together trying to resist the urge to say something ghastly to her mother. "Is that what you told Darcy? How many guys has she been with mom?"

Clare never saw her mom's eyes expand so hugely before. Her mouth and posture tightened. "You will not speak of your sister that way," she said in a firm whisper.

"I'm sorry, mom, I really am, but why are you so scared of me falling in love?"

"Is that really a question, Clare? Every mom fears that day. Although it may bring a great wave of happiness, they fear-"Her voice trailed off as Mrs. Edwards seemed to be holding back tears. "They fear their daughters getting heartbroken." Her voice had regained its composure.

Clare walked over to her mother and gave her a tight hug. Mrs. Edwards rested her head on top of Clare's and twirled the edges of her curls. "I know it probably sounds silly, sweetie, but I'm just making sure what happened to Darcy won't happen to you."

At that moment, Clare knew where her mother was going with this. She was afraid of not just when Darcy was heartbroken after Spinner and having to leave Peter, but her internet pedophile who had stalked her home.

"Eli's not like that mom. He's one of the most incredible people I have ever met. Do you trust me, mom?"

Mrs. Edwards pulled away from Clare. "Of course I do, sweetie."

Clare nodded in approval. "Okay, so remember when you and dad got married and you guys were saying your vows right after you placed the rings on each other's fingers?"

"How could I forget?" Mrs. Edwards asked a sense of happiness illuminating her voice.

Clare smiled. "Okay then, do you remember after the rings were on and your vows were done and there was that one moment of silence when you and dad were looking at each other? That was the moment where every single emotion you felt for each other was masked in your eyes. It was the way you guys saw each other that made everyone in the room go 'aw' at that very moment."

Mrs. Edwards was sobbing at this point as she reminisced.

Clare took her mother's hand and squeezed it lightly. "Well, that's the way I look at Eli and I know he does the same thing. We fit, mom. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I love him and I'm hoping you can respect that."

All doubts recoiled from Mrs. Edwards at that precise moment. "My little girl has grown up. Oh, Clare. I must meet this boy who has won over my daughter's heart. How about tomorrow after school? I could make some dinner and –"

Clare threw her hands up cutting off her mother's sudden rant. "Mom, I don't think so."

"You think I'm going to scare him away or something? I just want to meet Elijah."

Clare protested. "No, really, I don't think so. Eli doesn't eat…dinner." Clare slapped her forehead as she heard the words that just rushed out of her mouth.

"Don't be silly, Clare. Everyone can use a good dinner. Your father is working late tomorrow. I think we'll tell him about Eli another time when he won't go into cardiac arrest." Mrs. Edwards chuckled and maneuvered her way towards the kitchen, avoiding the chances of stepping on the somewhat damp parts of the floor. She flipped open a cookbook that was lying next to the microwave and began turning through pages.

Clare stood, her feet still planted firmly onto the floor of her living room. Her mouth hung open as she was flabbergasted. How would she possibly handle her mother and Eli in the same room? Unfortunately, she had no way out.


	35. Eli Comes To Dinner

"Wow, so your mom really wants to meet me?" I asked as Clare, Adam, and I walked through the entrance of Degrassi.

"She insisted actually against my voice of reason."Clare said snobbishly.

I pretended to be hurt. "Clare, you don't want your mom to know about me?"

"Of course I do, Eli. It's my mother I'm afraid of. She's highly judgmental, stubborn, and –"

I cut her off. "It's your mother, Clare. I'd be honored to meet her. Is there anything I should change just to make a good impression at least?"

"Your face," Adam said not missing a beat.

"That's really kind of you A-"

He interrupted me before I could continue. "No, I mean you face. It's not like your scratches have gone away yet."

I touched my cheek with my forefinger. I had almost forgotten about my claw marks. Although they had extremely improved pain wise, they were still puffy and conspicuous upon my face. "I can't exactly hide them."

We had reached Clare's locker. She opened it hastily and dug around until she pulled out a small purse. "I could probably touch it up with some makeup to not make it look as bad."

I took Clare's purse from her hand and dumped it back into her locker. "I love you, Clare, but there's no way I'm putting on makeup."

Clare stiffened and changed the topic. "I think you could loosen up on the black just a little."

I flashed Clare a smile. "You don't like my bad boy image?"

"Give it a rest, Eli." Adam shoved past me. "I think if you walked into Clare's dressed the way you are her mom would drop dead. No offense to your mom, Clare."

"I'm with Adam on this."

I sighed and took off my black jacket to reveal my black undershirt. Clare bit at her lip furiously and I saw a shiver roll down her back as she eyed me. "Let's not wear that either." Clare said, the edges of her words shaking.

"You guys make me sick." Adam faced me and began examining my body. "Hmm, the pants might slightly longer and the shirt might be snug, but I think you can fit."

"What are you talking about?" Clare and I questioned in unison.

"Well, you can't walk in worshipping death upon greeting Clare's mom. I can let you borrow one of my shirts and a pair of my pants. "

I snorted as I laughed. "I'm not going to wear your clothes."

Adam patted me on the back. "I've seen what you own Eli. It's either black, medium black, light black, or that one gray shirt. There are lots more colors on the spectrum."

I looked towards Clare hoping she would disagree, but her expression said it all. I hadn't worn anything, but black in a long time, but if it helped I would do it for Clare. I lost this battle. "Alright, so Adam and I will go to his house after school. I'll change and be over by four."

"Sounds good," Clare said.

"There's only one problem. Where did the marks on your face come from?"

My mind drew a blank, but not before I blurted out, "A skateboarding accident?"

"I don't think my mom would buy that unless she was blind or stupid and she's neither the last time I checked."

"Um, fine… my cat?" That was the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"Ah, nice to see the gang back together," a woman's voice said from down the hallway. Ms. Dawes had appeared earlier to class then usual. A binder was firmly in her grasp between her arms. "Mr. Goldsworthy, do you have a note for your absence yesterday?"

I was caught off guard. "No, Ms. Dawes."

"Hmm, well I checked your attendance record and you were out from every other subject. I guess I'll let this one slide, but you better have one great piece of work to show me for the next class." She lifted her wrist up to eye level as she viewed her watch. "Five, four, three, two, one," and right on queue the bell for first period rang. Clare, Adam, and I scurried inside unable to continue our discussion.

I arrived at exactly four o'clock outside Clare's house. She was sitting on her steps waiting for me. "Oh my gosh, Eli, you look amazing," She said unable to take her eyes off of me. I was wearing one of Adam's dark blue buttoned down shirts which did hug my torso a little too tightly and a pair of his gray jeans which were not my usual skinny jeans. However the way Clare was staring at me right now made it all worth it.

I walked up to her and kissed her. "Shall we enter your domain, my lady?" I teased.

Clare smiled and put her arm in mine. "We shall," and she knocked on her front door.

Mrs. Edwards answered the door after the first ring obviously expecting our arrival. "Welcome Elijah," she said with her hand outstretched.

I shook it immediately making sure not to make my grip too tight. "Thank you so much for inviting me, but please, Mrs. Edwards, call me Eli." I was semi nervous as I said that. I didn't want to come off too pushy or rude, but Mrs. Edwards apologized and led Clare and I over to the dinner table. It was set beautifully with three porcelain white plates on top of red clothed placement mats. A silver platter was resting in the middle of the table; salad and bread to the side in wooden bowls.

"Wow, this is incredible," I said startled as Mrs. Edwards opened up the silver platter to reveal a full tray of pasta covered in creamy sauce. I felt my stomach begin to grumble.

"You really shouldn't have, mom." I heard Clare say. She began to pour some pasta onto my plate.

I thanked her and began to eat when everyone was settled. It was silent for a few moments.

"So, Eli, what made you transfer to Degrassi?"

Clare started coughing violently as she seemed to have gagged on a piece of pasta.

"Clare, are you alright?" I asked grabbing her hand that was resting on her lap.

She stopped coughing immediately and replied. "I'm fine. It just went down the wrong pipe. "She began jerking her hand rapidly in front of her face as tears were caught up on the edges of her eyes.

"Um… anyways," I began answering Mrs. Edwards's previous question. "My mom's job transferred her closer to Degrassi so, I had to come here." I knew it was a lie, but telling the truth wouldn't be very welcoming at dinner.

"And your parents work as?"

"My mom has two jobs at the moment, a secretary at a doctor's office and a clerk at a grocery store at night. My dad… left a while back." Bringing up my mother slightly pained me.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," Mrs. Edwards said as she tore off a piece of bread from the loaf to eat.

"Where did those scratches on your face come from?"

"My cat," I spoke not realizing how stupid that sounded once it left my lips.

"Some cat," Mrs. Edwards laughed loudly. I joined in and so did Clare as the will to laugh was highly contagious by this point due to the intense questioning.

Suddenly, a thought struck me and I had to act on my impulse. "Mrs. Edwards, I was wondering if I could take your daughter on an official date this Friday night."

Mrs. Edward's expression remained unchanged. "Where is this date?"

"It's a concert. I'll pick her up and drop her off."

Clare looked at me like I was insane.

"Well, if you're going then alright. Just bring her home before the high peaks of the morning."

Clare was speechless and so was I. Mrs. Edwards rose from her seat and began to clear the plates of our finished meals.

"It was wonderful, Mrs. Edwards," I said for that was all I could say at the moment.

"Why, thank you Eli. I'll leave you and Clare alone for a few moments while I go try and find some more dish soap. You are quite a charming young man."

Mrs. Edwards gave me a quick hug and both Clare and I watched her walk away.

"How did you do it?" Clare confronted me. "You made my mother fall in love with you."

I cracked a smile. "Oh, Clare, I am the charmer of many women," I joked.

Clare put her hands on my buttoned shirt and pulled me towards her. "Eli Goldsworthy, I think I know the reason behind your success."

"And what would that be?" I lowered my hands onto her hips and pulled her even closer so we were now chest to chest.

"You look hot in blue." Before I could react she had me in a kiss, a mesmerizing kiss, and at that moment time ceased to exist.


	36. The Dead Hand Concert

"We are on our way to The Dead Hand concert!" Adam shouted from the back of Morty. Him and Clare were talking very fast paced from their overload of excitement.

"How much more time do we have until we get there? I want to show off my new outfit." Clare said. I must agree Clare's outfit was hot. It was a black off the shoulder blouse and a pair of jeans that were somewhat tighter then her usual preference.

"The only showing off you're going to be doing is for me," I said from the front keeping both hands firmly on Morty's steering wheel.

"Eli's jealous," Adam snickered.

Clare joined in. "Pish posh, Adam. Eli knows I only belong to him."

"Damn right," I called out. I heard Adam and Clare collapse in a fit of laughter.

I caught a glimpse of what appeared as a giant night club with a bright sign that read, "The Header." I turned towards Adam and Clare. "Okay guys, this is it. Just let me try and find parking around here." Every spot was filled for blocks. After about a half hour or searching I pulled Morty into a cozy corner spot about ten streets away.

Clare and I walked hand in hand, Adam trailing beside us unable to stop talking about The Dead Hand. We made our way to 'The Header' and got in without hesitation; skipping the main portion of the line. The club was decked out with a huge stage in the middle, at least six sets of speakers with amplifiers, a banner that welcomed everyone to The Dead Hand reunion tour and a giant collage of lights that radiated all colors in each corner of the club. Waves of people were making their way in. Clare, Adam, and I proceeded to the front of the stage avoiding the possibilities of getting pushed, shoved, or mobbed by desperate fans who had not won V.I.P. tickets. After about a half hour of endless chatter, the lights dimmed and darkness engulfed the club. The concert was starting and my adrenaline was racing.

There were sparks from the stage that just missed my head. Clare grabbed onto me seemingly frightened, but I held her close. The Dead Hand emerged from behind a velvet curtain all dressed in black, guitars ready, and microphones checked. The lights in the corners turned on flashing red, green, blue, yellow, purple, and pink spotlights throughout the crowd. A piercing sound rang through my ears as the base played began followed quickly after by the guitarist. My feet were vibrating, my heart was thumping, and my ears I knew for sure would hurt later, but it was worth every minute.

The song was already a minute in. Adam was jumping up and down waving his hands in the air wildly. A massive amount of people were doing the same so Clare and I joined in. I wasn't particularly sure that Clare even liked The Dead Hand, but I knew she wanted an excuse to spend time with me which I didn't question at any point. Her being there with me was only making the concert ten times more enjoyable to watch.

A hardcore solo from the base came on and I could feel my ears tingling. The sound was incredibly amped through the speakers. Adam was clutching his ears, but somehow managing to still dance around like a maniac. He began screaming out the words to the song when it replayed. I began head banging as the ending melody played; my hair tossing from side to side. The song ended with a high cord from the base and the audience was a mist of high pitched screams, whistles, and claps.

Clare looked at me. "THIS IS INSANE!" she yelled out.

I faintly heard her. "I KNOW! ADAM LIKES IT A LOT!"

Clare glanced at Adam whose face was in utter awe. "I NOTICED. HE WAS JUMPING AROUND LIKE CRAZY!"

I would have responded, but the music started up again, louder then before which I didn't know was possible. It seemed that even more people had showed up because I was compressed closer to the metal fence that was blocking people from being too close to the stage. I took a hold of Clare and let her stand in front of me so she wouldn't be forced into the fence by any strangers. She was thankful as I could tell by the way her eyes landed upon mine. I wrapped my hands around her waist and squeezed ever so lightly. We turned, rocked, jumped, and collided with the music for the next hour and a half.

As it got closer to the end Clare and I were both pretty tired and sweaty. Adam, although he looked the same as we did, his energy was still blazing through him.

The Dead Hand's lead singer spoke into the microphone. "Alright everyone, this will be our last song for the night. It's a slow song, but in my personal favorites so, grab a partner and dance."

Clare and I instantly got together. The song began to play. She rested her head on my shoulder and I was leading her as well as I could. We swayed to the beat, our feet never once stepping upon each other.

"You're beautiful in every way. I just can't believe your mine. Let our fingers intertwine and don't let go of me tonight." As I danced with Clare, the music was only background noise. Halfway through the song I saw Adam who was standing alone.

I picked up Clare's head and whispered in her ear, "There will be plenty of more times to dance with me. Give Adam a shot." I kissed her sympathetically on my lips and she agreed.

"May I have this dance?" She asked Adam bowing sweetly.

Adam's somber face turned into a delighted one and he took Clare as his partner. I watched them dance until the song ended; my eyes never leaving Clare.

"Okay everyone, we, The Dead Hand, want to thank you for such an amazing show tonight. We're glad you all could be with us and for those of you in the front –"The lead singer pointed to me, Clare, and Adam. "We will give you guys signed guitar picks, posters, and t- shirts from the band."

Adam and I hopped the bars at the same time, Clare laughing hysterically, and we took the items in our grasp.

"I got a guitar pick from The Dead Hand," Adam said his hands unsteady as he stared at it.

I kissed my guitar pick and took of my chain necklace. With a quick slip through the hole, The Dead Hand's guitar pick was now dangling from my neck.

Clare admired it and twirled it between the edges of her fingers. "Someone must be happy," she said, her voice slightly raised. The majority of the loud crowd had vanished, but due to the V.I.P. passes we stayed behind receiving our gifts from the band before we exited.

After walking the ten blocks, I climbed into Morty with Adam and Clare directly behind me.

"Wow, just wow, I can't believe it. I have The Dead Hand's guitar pick," Adam exclaimed taking a peak at it from the glare of the streetlight. It sparkled blue.

"I know," I said taking hold of my necklace. "That was the most amazing concert I've ever been to. Did you like it Clare?"

"Not particularly my taste, but I got to spend it with you and Adam which made it all worth the while. Now let's get home before the early morning hours." Clare tapped at her watch furiously which read one o'clock am. I hadn't realized how long the concert had been going for.

Trying to make a good impression and get Clare home at a somewhat decent hour, I sped a little bit as I drove along the highway; whizzing by cars faster then I should have. Before I knew it, I heard the blaring of sirens and flashes of red and blue.

"Damn it," I said pulling over to the side of the road. There was no point of running from the cops.

"None of us are drunk or stoned. You'll just get a ticket and this will be over," Adam's tone was hopeful as he spoke.

An officer tapped on my windshield so I rolled it down. "License and registration," he commanded. I opened up Morty's glove compartment and handed it to him. He headed to his patrol car to scan it.

"Good job, daredevil," Clare said rolling her eyes.

"This daredevil was trying to be a good boyfriend by getting you home." The statement came off as rude which was not my intention, but I was tired and agitated by having to stop.

The officer returned. "Sir, I need you to step out of the car."

"Is there a problem, officer?"

"Sir, just please step out of the car." Adam and Clare looked at me fearfully; eyes wide with a sense of trepidation and anxiety.

As I got out of the car, my arms were briskly thrown beneath my back and handcuffed.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded as I felt myself pushed into the side of Morty.

"You're under arrest for the murder of Bryan Wilson." At that moment, I felt my heart stop.


	37. The Devil's Advocate

I was hauled off to the local police station and thrown immediately into a holding cell. I had been stripped searched and forced to hand in all my possessions; my black shirt, my ripped jeans, my black blazer, my boots, my skull ring, and my necklace. In replace of all that was an orange jumpsuit, which was way too big for me, and a pair of silver handcuffs restraining my wrists together.

The cop who took me into custody was looming over me; eyeing me every few seconds. "Do you have any money for an attorney?" he asked.

"No."

"I will have to put some paperwork in to get you one then."

I couldn't focus. My mind was wandering furiously. What happened to Clare and Adam? Did they bring them in too? Were they home, safe and sound where they belonged? Were they worried? I had to know. "What happened to my friends?"

"Don't worry. They've been driven home by my partner. Your car was towed for evidence. "

"Evidence for what?" I blurted out even though I already knew. It was for the murder of my deceased best friend. It wasn't me. I knew it wasn't. It had taken me many sleepless nights and anxiety attacks to finally convince myself of otherwise.

"Don't pretend you don't know, kid. There are sources that say you murdered that boy a few years back. It may be a while before you get out of here." His voice hid a trace of happiness almost as if he was glad to see me sitting here unable to do anything, but listen to his words. "According to my sergeant, I'm not allowed to start interrogations until I get you an attorney so, you'll just have to stay put."

"Yeah because I could really go anywhere," I snapped lifting up my wrists just faintly off the table. I jingled the handcuffs.

The officer was not amused by my joke. However, I didn't even know why I was making one. I was scared more like petrified of being here. My life was finally reaching the standard of normal. I was starting to feel happy, alive, and worth something. If that was all coming true then, why was I in a holding cell being prepared to be investigated for a crime I didn't commit? I was left alone to ponder my thoughts, my options, and my fears.

What did I know? Well I was in a damp, gray cell, with one cutout window overlooking the inside of the station, a metal table with one chair on each side, and one metal door that was the only way in or out. I closed my eyes and Clare's face came into view, smiling, almost as a sign that things would be okay, but I didn't feel that way. I knew, from the moment I walked in, that the odds were severely against me. A troubled teenager who got into a fight with his best friend, things didn't work out, and then he's dead a month later? That didn't sound suspicious at all.

My hands were trembling by this point. My heart was thumping so fast I could have sworn I felt it scraping against the layer of my chest.

The front door to the holding cell opened and revealed a different officer and my mother. My blood began to bubble.

"Your mother is here to see you." And before my mother sat down across from me, the door was slammed shut.

"Hello, Eli," she said in an even lower pitch then a whisper.

"Hi," was all I could manage to say.

"Things aren't looking too good at this point."

I didn't even bother to try and tell myself she cared. "I always admired your optimism, mom."

"Keep making smart remarks like that and you'll be convicted faster then you can spell the damn word."

I leaned in closer to her; my wrists slightly tingling from pulling on the handcuffs. "Why do you care?"

She shifted a little in her seat obviously uncomfortable both by my threatening sense of voice and the hard metal of the chair. "I want you to finally accept this instead of being in denial all the time."

I was dumbfounded. My own mother was completely convinced that I was guilty. I wish she would have been there the night Bryan died and witnessed what I had to witness. I wish she would have sensed the blood of another on her, but then again, she already had. My blood was on her fingertips when she cut me, but that didn't faze or bother her in any way. I grew angrier then I already was when she walked in. I slumped into my chair and tapped my foot almost at a pencil dropping silence to distract me from the thought of rage.

"Your father had finally left. We had the chance to be a real family, Elijah, but you had to go and screw it up. I had to find a place for us to move and drop my job. I did that all for you and you didn't once show you were grateful." My mom pulled out a tissue from her bag and began to dab her eyes which from my view didn't seem to have tears in them.

"I was never grateful because you never showed that you cared about anything I was going through." The answer was simple and to the point.

"If I didn't care then Elijah, why would I leave everything behind to take you to a place far away? Why didn't I just let you stay there and rot with the torment? I knew you'd suffer so I re routed –"

I couldn't listen to any more of her bullshit. "The only reason you left is so you wouldn't have to deal with the whole neighborhood saying that I was a bad seed. You can't even dare to try and tell me other wise."

She clasped her hands tightly together and let them rest on the table that was separating us. "I don't know where your father and I went wrong with you. You were such a beautiful child growing up."

"What am I to you now, mom? I'd love to hear this." I kicked the leg of the table as hard as I could which triggered my mom to jump up from her seat.

She backed up a few steps. "You're a monster."

I let out a small chuckle and flashed a snarl; the right ends of my upper and bottom lip curled upward. "You can't even begin to imagine the monster I could be to you mom, after how you treated me for all these years." The threat released an immediate effect for I could feel the fright my mother now held inside of her.

She flattened out the bottom of her skirt and sat back down. "You know, Elijah, I'm glad I gave the cops an anonymous tip."

"YOU DID WHAT?" I bellowed. I rose up from my seat and kicked the chair so hard it flew back into the wall of the cell. It clanged hard against the wall leaving the room echoing for a few seconds. My temper had never reached such a boiling point before. The insides of my forehead were throbbing. My muscles were tightened all over and I didn't want to stop screaming.

"You needed an act of discipline. You were –"

"YOU HIT ME AND LEFT ME ABANDONED FOR MONTHS WHILE YOU WORKED. I PUT UP WITH YOUR EXCUSE YOU CALLED A FAMILY AND I'M HERE FOR FUCKING YELLING AT YOU?" I never once was a fan of cursing, but I couldn't find any other words to describe how I felt inside.

I saw that I was now drawing attention. At least three pairs of eyes were staring at me through the window. I couldn't give an ounce of care. That woman was not my mother, but the spawn of the devil himself. She portrayed herself as some poor charity case; her husband walked out on her, her son was a delinquent, but yet she was the ringleader of all things gone wrong.

"I put you here because you needed to pay for your actions. If you couldn't have paid the price Elijah, then you shouldn't have done the crime."

I slammed the handcuffs onto the table. "I PAID THE DAMN PRICE MOM WITH MY SOUL. THE HEARSE, THE BLACK CLOTHING, THE HOURS OF BEING LOCKED IN MY ROOM WAS ALL THE WAYS I REMINDED MYSELF OF WHAT HAPPENED. I TORTURED MYSELF UNTIL I HAD ALMOST LOST MY SANITY!" I locked eyes with her and felt a sudden knot in my throat like I was going to cry. "You didn't once take notice that I was dying on the inside." My voice had cracked and I could feel tears on the waterlines of my eyes.

"I don't need to suffer anymore of this abuse from you. I just hope you finally learn a lesson." She clutched her purse and proceeded to leave unaffected by my sudden meltdown what so ever.

"You are a coldhearted bitch if you can do this to your own son." I was no longer angry, just numb.

My mother stopped and turned to face me. "You are no son of mine, Elijah Goldsworthy." And with that she turned the handle of the door, which an officer had unlocked for her, and she exited the station not once glancing behind her.


	38. Finding Comfort

Adam and Clare didn't return home until three o' clock in the morning by the time the cops had organized a car to drive them home. The fact that they arrived in a police vehicle was unbeknownst to Mr. and Mrs. Edwards.

Clare begged Adam to sleep over, but it wasn't much of a plea since Adam was just as freaked out by what had happened as Clare was.

"Did you hear what they arrested him for? He didn't kill Bryan, Adam, he didn't." Clare was half sobbing in Adam's arms.

"I know he didn't kill him, Clare. Eli is too gentle of a person to do that. I know he has his share of problems, but he would never intentionally murder anybody."

Clare pulled away from Adam. "Then why is he in jail and not safely home with you? This isn't fair, this isn't fair!" Clare walked over to night table and threw her alarm clock full force across the room. Adam ducked as it just missed his head and with a loud slam it crashed into the door. Clare collapsed on her floor in a heap, moaning as she cried.

Adam made his way over to her and held her. "I don't know, Clare, okay. I really don't know. I want to know what low life reported him to the police."

"Who said anyone had to report him?"

"Come on, Clare, think about it. Eli left that town over a year ago and no one has ever nailed anyone for Bryan's murder. Then magically out of no where, Eli is the number one suspect. Someone had to have said something."

Clare couldn't find any words to make Adam's suspicions prove to be false. It was too random and unpredictable to just put Eli's name on the most wanted list. "Okay, so if this is true then who could have done this?"

Adam shook his head unable to find an answer. "Honestly, Clare, I don't know. This is the first time in a long time I can't think of anything. I mean before, it was obvious it was K.C. and Fitz, but this is way too out of their league and -."

"K.C. and Fitz wouldn't have the brains to do something like this and besides they don't know this deep into Eli even if they wanted to."

"Exactly, this sucks."

He stood up making sure Clare's head didn't hit the floor too hard. She stayed on the floor and the silence between them continued for at least a half an hour longer. They were both exhausted, scared, more like worried out of their own flesh and blood for Eli. They didn't know what was going to happen or how he was and that's what hurt them the most.

"Do you think he's okay?" Clare asked; her crying subdued to a minimal.

"Yeah, Eli's tough. I don't think they could shake him."

"I really hope so, Adam. " Suddenly, Clare began to scream. "This is my fault, all of it entirely. If I just talked my mom out of inviting him to dinner then he wouldn't have the nerve to make a good impression and speed home for me. The cops wouldn't have pulled him over and Eli would be here right now!"

"Clare you can't –"

But Adam's words were not heard. Clare was screaming like she was being tortured. She was wincing and wriggling around the floor. Her hair was looped in between her fingers and she was pulling so hard her head was jerking. "IT'S MY FAULT, IT'S MY FAULT." She kept repeating the words over and over.

Adam jumped on top of her and cupped his hand over her mouth. "Clare, you have to be quiet, you're going to wake up your parents. Clare, cut it out."

Clare had stopped screaming. She had stopped moving all together. Adam removed himself from Clare's body and sat beside her, watching her, his eyes trying to encase his shock. He didn't know what was worse; watching Clare slowly bring herself down, or Eli not being safe. Clare and Eli; two of the strongest people he known from day one were slowly falling apart around him.

"How heavy of sleepers are your parents?" Adam asked trying to get through to the unresponsive Clare. She said nothing.

"Clare, I want you to listen to me, and listen good. You can't put all the blame on yourself. It's not your fault. If Eli could talk to you right now he'd say the same thing. He does what he can for you because he loves you and out of all the people I've known, I've never seen a love stronger then what Eli has for you. Since he's been staying over all he does is talk about you. He told me how beautiful you are, how smart you are, and how he'd do anything, no matter what it does to him, to make you beyond satisfied to be with him."

Adam stopped talking and focused upon Clare. Her eyes had moved at least and were looking directly at him. "I know you feel horrible right now Clare, but you need to be strong just like Eli knows you can be."

"Eli – He really goes through all that trouble just for me?" Clare was rubbing her eyes with the side of her knuckle.

"Yes, yes he does Clare."

Clare let out a small laugh. "I'm being so silly right now." She cleared her throat. "I should be strong for him and instead I'm crying and acting like some freak. I'm sorry you had to experience that Adam."

"Please, Clare, -"Adam said pausing as he removed his sweater. "We all have a limit and I'm quite happy to see you have one too. For a minute, I was wondering how solid the real Clare Edwards was."

Clare playfully slapped Adam on the shoulder. "Pish, posh, Adam, I'm not that strong."

Adam grinned. "I know that now. So, what do we do?" Adam looked over his shoulder to the night table, but realized there was no alarm clock. It was smashed into pieces around Clare's door. "Right, there's no more alarm clock."

"Whoops." Clare said some what embarrassed.

Adam tipped his hat towards Clare and responded," I think that deserved an infamous boo – yah for being a badass Clare Edwards moment."

"Boo – yah," Clare said leaning her head against the side of her bed. She extended her legs out in front of her. "How do you do that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You always find a way to make someone laugh even in the midst of a disaster."

Adam smiled, the tips of his ears turning a pale shade of red. "I see things this way. If you find even the most microscopic thing in a bad situation funny, then you can find hope in about almost anything."

Clare let out a small applause. "That was really nice, Adam. I guess it's good to have you here in a time like this. I'm going to need a lot of support to get through the night."

"Then I will be here for you Clare not just for you, but for Eli as well. I may not know what time it is, but I think we should be going to bed if that's possible."

"Sleep quite frankly is the farthest thing from my mind." Clare crossed her arms and let out a small yawn.

"Well, if we're going to go down to the station tomorrow and find out what's going on with Eli we're going to need at least an hour, two if we're lucky."

Clare yawned again and crawled up onto her bed. She didn't bother to change into her pajamas. She just wanted to let her head hit the pillow, surround herself in darkness, and wake up with a call from Eli in the morning saying that he and Adam were having fun at his house. However, she knew deep down in her heart and throughout her whole body that wasn't the case.

"Adam, I'd let you sleep here but it'd be –"

"Clare, really, it's fine. I'll just crash on the floor. You have an extra pillow?"

Clare tossed Adam a large fluffy pillow from the opposite side she was laying on. "Goodnight, Adam and thanks for not flipping out earlier." She clicked off the lamp on her night table and her room was overtaken by nothing, but darkness and a tiny glimpse of moonlight from the window.

Adam adjusted his neck on the pillow and curled up comfortably on his side. "Goodnight as well Clare and no problem."


	39. Most Treasured

For the remainder of the night I was taken to a solitary cell. The cop who escorted me there had said it was where "the really disturbed people go." I wasn't disturbed. I hadn't lost my mind, but I knew in this place I would. It was a solid white room not any longer then ten feet, with one bed, a toilet, and no windows except for the small cutout on the door the cops would peak in during patrols. I never felt so alone, so isolated from the world. Even sitting there for a few hours on the hard mattress of the bed proved to me how people could go insane.

There was no light, no sound, just drowning in your own thoughts and if you wanted those gone; silence. It was an endless pit of silence interlacing every corner; every particle of space in the room. The only thing I could hear that stopped me from believing I was dead was my breathing. I heard the slow inhalation of air rising through my lungs and expanding my chest; up and down continuously, endlessly.

I allowed my thoughts to wonder with a boundary of not going past what could happen to me. I thought of Clare, how much I wanted to see her face, hear her speak, touch her, and kiss her. Then I thought of Adam how much I wanted to listen to another joke, have another talk with him. I wanted to be a human, a free being that for once my actions wouldn't follow me.

I knew it was early daylight due to the shuffling of officers pacing through the hallways. One came up to my cell unlocked the door and pulled me out. "You got visitors here," was all he said and I couldn't even begin to imagine the look of relief and joy upon my face. I almost skipped my way down the corridor of cells to the holding room once more.

As soon as I went inside, I saw Clare. She looked tired with puffy red eyes and slightly disheveled hair, but to me she was still beautiful.

I heard the cop who escorted me say I had thirty minutes. It seemed like such a short time, but just seeing Clare made time not a factor.

"Clare, words can't describe how happy I am to see you."

She smiled weakly. "Eli, what's going to happen to you?" I could almost feel the fear penetrating me from her eyes.

I took my hands in hers. "Honestly Clare, I don't know. The guy who took me in last night said I was probably going to be here a long time."

That didn't lesson up Clare's expression at all. "Define a long time."

"All I know is that I have to wait for a hearing and that could take months or years even."

"Y… years?" Clare's voice stumbled. Her lip was quivering.

"I know it's scary, Clare. I c… can't even begin to tell you how terrified I am." The hard knot was back in my throat. I tried to be strong, but seeing Clare break down enabled me to want to do the same. I squeezed her hand trying to give her some sense of comfort.

"W…what's going to h…happen to us?" Tears were pouring from her face like a waterfall.

"Nothing, n…nothing is going to change." I let my hair cover my eyes hoping she wouldn't see I was beginning to tear up.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Clare Edwards, no matter how much time goes by, my feelings for you will never vanish. You're everything to me." I titled her chin upward and wiped away her tears with the side of my palm.

She sniffled, but tears were no longer falling. "I want you to know Eli that I will be here to visit you everyday whether it is before school, after school, or even during. I'm going to watch you get through this."

"I can't ask you to do that, Clare. You need to have a life. You don't need to be here everyday. It'll get to you. It's already getting to me." I slightly shivered at the thought of having to go back to solitaire.

"You're not asking me, Eli. I'm doing this for myself, but know this. You are one of the bravest and solid people I've ever met and I know you can fight this."

I let out a small smile and began to play with her hands. Just her touch made things seem so much better off then they were.

"If it makes you feel any better my mom is willing to help out with whatever she can."

I couldn't force my laughter inside. "As much as I appreciate that I don't know how much she could do for me. "

"It's worth a shot."

I agreed with her and there a mild pause before either of us spoke again. In that moment, I felt slightly overwhelmed. Thoughts surrounded my head. What if I never got out of here? What if I got convicted? What would happen to Clare? What would happen to me? I wouldn't be able to handle it; the cut off from the people I cared out, the lack of something but the indoors. What would I do for twenty four hours each and every day if I had to stay in this prison?

"Eli, are you okay?" Clare's voice broke through to me. I felt myself slowly returning to a calmer state.

"I need you to have something Clare."

Her eyes expanded. I reached my hand into the small pocket of my jumpsuit and pulled out my skull ring. I huddled low over the table making sure no one outside could see.

"How did you get that?" Clare whispered hastily.

"I stole it off the desk over there." I gestured my head towards the front desk which was in direct crossings from my cell to the holding room.

I opened up Clare's hand and placed it directly in the middle of her palm. "I want you to know Clare that I'm always going to be with you. This ring is a symbol of that, a symbol that will hopefully remind you of me even if I can't physically be present with you. It's something I've always treasured Clare and since I hold you close to my heart, I think it's rightfully yours." I watched her other hand take it and delicately place it on her ring finger.

"I'll never take it off, Eli. I promise."

I pulled her in close and kissed the top of her forehead. "I know. Just promise that you'll never forget me."

She seemed for a minute almost insulted. "How could I ever forget you? You are and always will be my first love, the first person who has truly shown me what it's like to be completely grateful for all that I have."

"They say first loves will always find their way back to each other," I replied.

With that being said, I leaned over and kissed Clare. I took in every moment of the kiss. Her lips were so plump and delicate as they locked with mine. Her nose was just slightly brushing against my cheek. I felt her hands guide upward towards the top of my back and wrap around. I felt safe in her arms and I pressed my lips even harder upon hers. I didn't want to miss out in case this was the last time I ever got the chance to kiss her.

I bit at her lip for a change and my tongue collided into her teeth, but it wasn't a barrier for long. She let my tongue enter into her mouth and I kept kissing her as intensely as I could. I felt the range of emotions run through me like I was being shocked by a bolt of lightning. Goosebumps emerged on my skin as a blend of our sadness, our love, our hope, our wanting to be together flooded our kiss.

There was a knock on the window and Clare and I let go of each other.

"One minute," an officer mouthed to me.

Clare's eyes were hard to make out at this point. I couldn't tell what was written in them. The blueness of her eyes was a defense, a hard outer shell of what Clare was experiencing.

I couldn't express the sadness I felt at that point knowing that she would have to leave in less then a minute. I said all I could. "I love you Clare so very much and I want you to know I'm always with you." I placed her hand on her heart. "That slow beating, I'm a part of it now."

Her expression flickered to a depression I was unable to look at. "Eli, why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

"It's never goodbye, Clare. It's more like I'll see you soon."

I kissed her one last time savoring every ounce of Clare's soul I could manage in that last kiss. I watched her be led out, tears in her eyes once more.


	40. The Hidden Fear

Adam walked in a few minutes later; his face more worn out then Clare's was. He took a seat and I could see the relief written all over him to see that I was okay.

"Eli, what the hell happened? Clare and I, we didn't tell anyone, I swear."

"I know. Let's just say my mother has a way with words."

"Your own mother did this?" Adam was at a loss for what to say. He squirmed a little in his seat. "Man, that's brutal. Why the hell would she do something like that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't even have the slightest idea to explain that. She was here last night. We had a huge blow out. She basically called me a monster, said I deserved this, and left."

"What a bitch!" Adam exclaimed taking his hat off and dropping it on the table.

I furrowed my brow. I never seen Adam pissed before. "That's what I called her and she went into this whole dramatic 'I don't need this abuse from you, Eli.' She doesn't know what abuse is." I spat on the floor at the thought of her mere presence. It sickened me to the core.

Adam looked horrified and disgusted at the same time. "I still can't believe it."

"Neither can I. I just want to get out of here. They have me in solitary. Do you know what it's like to only have me to listen to for hours and hours?"

"I'm guessing it's pretty scary," Adam said; the edges of his mouth forming a grin.

I had to return the gesture. "Yes, yes, it is."

"I don't want to be a downer Eli, but what's going to happen from here? Clare said you didn't really say much about it. You just told her how much you loved her."

I let out a loud sigh. "That's something I don't know either, Adam. I have to wait for a trial and that could take a really long time. After that, I guess I'm going to be locked up permanently."

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, what do you mean locked up for good?"

"If I get convicted for murder then –"

Adam cut into what I was saying, his voice blaring in my eardrums. "You're not going to be convicted. There's no evidence. Clare and I will testify saying how good of a guy you are. This will blow over."

I wanted to believe Adam's words desperately, but that wasn't an option. "This isn't some Degrassi scandal. I'm not going to beat around the bush with you Adam. My freedom is futile, hopeless, out of the question. Bryan was a town favorite. Cops were looking for evidence for a long time and now they've got someone they can put the crime's name on. See how fast they jumped me last night? They're unwilling to listen. You and Clare have only known me for a few weeks. Your testimonies will be irrelevant and all that will do is cause both of you more pain then you need."

I watched Adam's expression as I waited for him to absorb the truth I was trying to convey to him. I couldn't get out of this. It was beginning to hit me hard. The more I talked to Adam and the more I thought about my conversation with Clare, the more my future dreams were fading. They had this false hope; both naïve that this would be over so easily.

"So you're just giving up?"

"There was nothing to ever give up on."

Adam tightened his posture and ran his fingers through the front of his hair. He let out a scream in frustration. "It can't end like this, Eli! You're innocent! What do they possibly have on you? You drive a hearse, you wear all black? That's a stereotypical assumption."

"And look where that has gotten me." I pointed to my orange jumpsuit and the slight red marks imprinted in my skin from the tightness of my handcuffs I had worn the previous night.

Adam hunched over the table almost as a sign of defeat. "I see your point. Are you sure there isn't anything Clare or I could do?"

"Keep me company." It was a simple request; hopefully one that would keep my brain from shriveling up in this hell hole.

Adam tapped my knuckles with his. "No problem. We're friends and we stick together. We're going to be here until you get out."

"If I get out." The words rolled off my tongue before I could stop them.

"Say one more negative thing and I'm going to have to punch you," Adam said. I couldn't tell if he was joking or making a clear cut threat.

"Maybe it's for the best. I wouldn't be alone."

"Two guys in a room wouldn't make it solitary now would it?"

I raised my eyebrow. "You just love making witty comments don't you?"

Adam lifted his feet onto the metal table and put his hands behind his head. "It wouldn't be the same if I didn't."

I swiped my hand across the table and pushed his feet off. Adam yelped as his feet carried him off the metal chair and onto the floor. I bust out into a rage of laughter. I felt happy for the first time in hours. Adam was still on the floor rubbing his tailbone furiously. He slowly rose and got back onto the metal chair, his cheeks redder then the shirt he was wearing at the moment. Waves of cramps were rolling throughout my stomach as I couldn't control my high pitched laugh that was erupting from my body.

"I'm s…so….sorry," I managed to say with tears streaming down my face and hands clutched upon my torso.

"I hope that helped you a little bit, but if I'm only going to visit so you can push me off my seat, I think I'll pass."

I had finally stopped laughing. "No, I'm sorry, I just –"

"You just had an Eli moment. It's fine really." Adam readjusted his cap back onto his head.

At that moment, I remembered what was in my jumpsuit pocket aside from the skull ring I had given Clare. I reached into my pocket and slid a necklace over towards Adam. "I want you to have this."

Adam gasped. "That's your chain necklace with The Dead Hand's guitar pick? Eli, I can't. It's too personal."

I tossed it in Adam's hand even though he tried to refuse. "Look, I have already given Clare my skull ring. I want you to have my necklace. You truly are my best friend Adam and I don't want you to forget that."

Adam clasped the chain necklace on immediately. I watched as it dangled from his neck; both of my most meaningful possessions given to the two most important people in my life. I didn't want this; this feeling of despair of in my heart, this feeling that I'd never be able to enjoy another memorable day with them.

"Thank you, Eli. I'll never take it off."

"That's what Clare said about my ring." I couldn't help but let my thoughts float towards her again. "Adam, please watch over Clare for me. I can't even imagine how much this is hurting her or you, but I need both of you to be there for each other."

Adam took hold of my necklace. "It's already done, Eli. I'll help Clare. I'll make sure she stays as the precious girl you love."

I slapped Adam on the back. "Thanks, man. You don't know how much that means to me. "

"I'd do it for you anytime Eli. Just promise me you won't do anything stupid." Adam's words sounded like an order.

"Don't I always do something stupid?" I joked to Adam.

"Yeah, but I mean it. I know that solitary is insane. I just don't want you doing something stupid while you're in there."

"Are you trying to imply something?" I asked harshly. It was like Adam was trying to hide a specific fear of his that was bottled up inside of him.

Adam shook his head. "Nah, I'm just being concerned. I don't want my best friend to go crazy on me."

I pulled Adam into a tight hug as a cop gave me the one minute warning. "I won't okay, I promise."

"Good," Adam said happily and with a final goodbye, he left the police station, with Clare.


	41. Letters, Cracked Knuckles, And A Plan

It had been a week since I was arrested for Bryan's murder. I was still in solitaire must to my disgust and loneliness. Clare and Adam were visiting everyday; sometimes separate and sometimes together. They helped me get through most of my time here, but Sundays, no one could. Visiting hours didn't exist.

I was miserable and tired. Trying to sleep on a mattress that was harder then the floor itself, wasn't comforting. I was only let out for an hour a day which I treasured greatly even if it was only in the backyard of the jail which was filled with people who looked like they might kill me in one shot. I stayed far away from them, most of the time just leaning against the railing of the metal fence, writing.

I never noticed how good it felt to let your thoughts out on a piece of paper. I now understand why people who didn't have anyone did it. No one could judge you, talk back to you, or say you were wrong. It was your own world. Over the last week, I had been keeping somewhat of a journal depicting my daily routines which were as bland as they had ever been. I woke up every morning, ate whatever scraps they considered breakfast, walked back and forth for a good hour or so, laid back down waiting for lunch, took a few bites of that, and then took my hour outside.

I had just finished lunch around one o'clock and I knew it was only a matter of minutes before they gave me an hour break. Considering it would make time go faster until I could see Adam tomorrow morning, I was quite pleased. My desires were met as my usual patrol guard took me out of my cell and led me into the backyard of the jail. I calmly walked over the corner farthest away from the crowd of other prisoners that were now coming out. I had pieces of paper and a pencil in my hand and I thought at that moment I would write to both Clare and Adam.

_Dear my beautiful sweet, Clare:_

_I must say that being in solitary has deeply affected me and I'm not going to lie to you that I've never been so scared in my life. I wish I was out of here so I could show you how amazing I could treat you. I've been thinking that all I've been doing is causing you pain. I know you can't deny it either because I can see it in your eyes when you're talking to me. You're straining to be strong, to be the wonder woman Clare that I know you usually are. Don't do that Clare. I know that keeping things bottled up will slowly make you collapse on the inside. It's okay to be frightened, to be confused, and hurt. I am every time I think of how much pain I'm putting you through. _

_When I'm out of here, I'm going to do so much for you because you deserve to be treated like the amazing girl that you are. I'll take you anywhere you want to go, my treat, not that it wouldn't be any other way. I'll kiss you like I never kissed you before, and give you butterflies in your stomach like you never experienced before. I'll hold you in my arms and rock you softly to sleep and not once stop telling you that I love you. I know this probably all sounds so corny, but the images I get in my head are keeping me alive. Seeing your face every day when you visit helps too; more then you can imagine. _

_I don't know if you'll read this or if this will just be a letter to read over and over to keep me from losing my sanity when I'm not with you, but no matter which way things turn out, I will never stop believing in us and our love.  
- Eli Goldsworthy_

I reread the letter carefully as the sun glistened upon my handwriting. The noise of the backyard seemed to have not fazed me for I was completely zoned out. I flipped over to another sheet of paper and started off on Adam's letter.

_Dear my best friend, Adam:_

_Well, I must start off by saying this place does not deserve your commonly used boo-yah. It more deserves a kick in the ass if that was physically possible. I'm sorry for worrying you so much and I'm sorry I had to invade your house because of my mother being a psychotic bitch which she hasn't even tried to disprove. I also want to say sorry for putting pressure on you to look after Clare and the fact that you probably wanted to rip all of my hair out with how much I talked about her. My bad, man. _

_I want to say that you're one pretty awesome guy and I'm lucky to have you as my best friend. I like how we talk so easily and how we automatically clicked just by being English partners. I guess Ms. Dawes really knows how to pick them. As I have told you from day one, sometimes you really worry me with your random facial expressions and some of the things that come out of your mouth, but they make my day a lot easier to remember. Thank you for sticking with me through this predicament and know that I'd do the same for you if you were ever nearly as messed up as I am at the moment. I know I'm full of saying sorry and thank you, but words can't describe how amazing of a friend and person you are. _

_No matter what happens in this hell hole, nothing will break our bond. And I know that if you possibly read this you'd say some witty response like you always do and then I'd probably have to punch you._

_- Eli Goldsworthy_

I heard an alarm ringing through my ears which was my cue that my time outside was up. I gathered my letters, along with my pencil, and made my way to the door to the jail. I took one last glimpse at the sun which was blazing. I sighed as I walked back inside into the darkness that filled the long row of cells. A cop handcuffed me furiously as I got my right foot in the door and I was dragged off back to my cell at the far corner.

I was placed inside without a single word from the officer which I was quite happy about. They all annoyed the crap out of me by this point. All I knew that was certain at this point was that they found an attorney for me, which was probably some deadbeat, and I'd be interrogated in about three days. I didn't even know what to expect. They had no evidence, but a tip coming from my mother who was out of the picture all together in helping me. Adam and Clare didn't know me at the time of my post Degrassi days and I knew the opposing lawyer would overrule them as an option immediately. I hadn't been to Degrassi that long so even checking into my school records or performance couldn't make a dent in my case. I was screwed more then I had ever been before in my life. I was trapped in a cycle of the prejudices placed on a victim. I wonder if it was like that with other cases besides mine; if there were innocent people behind bars because of a stupid mistake or the unwillingness to listen from others.

My thoughts were drowning me and I felt my limbs going numb; a feeling that I had been having ever since I got here. Deciding it was best to sleep off my anxiety; I curled up in a ball on the hard mattress and fell asleep. I could care less about dinner.

I awoke; my mind drawing blanks at what time it was. I walked to the small cut out by my door and saw that it was light outside. I must have slept a long, long, time. I found it amazing how your emotions could mentally drain you to the point of exhaustion. A thought struck me. What if Adam came and I missed him? I needed to talk to him urgently. I leaped off my bed and slammed my fist hard against the wall. I heard a crack in my knuckles and felt a twinge of pain. I gritted my teeth together and winced. I opened and closed my hand with slight pain, but at least it worked. It meant nothing was broken. It would probably just leave a terrible bruise.

Silence cushioned the blow as I waited anxiously by the door hoping an officer would bring me to the holding room to see Adam. Time passed slowly, way too slowly. I tapped my foot against the floor humming a tune from The Dead Head. And just like that, my thoughts drifted to Clare. It was so easy for me to start thinking about her. I thought of how we danced without a care in the world just before the night came where I would need to be concerned about everything.

Suddenly, I heard the door to my cell opening and a cop said, "You have a visitor." I felt my heart do a back flip in my chest and it was with utter relief that I hurried to the holding room.

There was Adam waving as I walked in. "Sorry, I'm late. I finally got a good sleep."

"No worries. Turns out I did as well." I smirked.

"Awesome, so what's up? Have people been treating you alright?"

"I guess you could say so for the most part. Better then I thought it would be when it came to prisoners detecting my presence."

Adam nodded approvingly. "That's good, man."

I leaned in towards Adam as nonchalantly as I could making it slip by unnoticed to the cops circling around outside. "I need you to help me with something."

I forged a yawn and long stretch as I saw a cop hover by.

Adam eyes flickered towards mine. "This isn't anything stupid, is it?"

"Not even close. I found a way to get out of here."

I had never seen Adam's smile so wide before. "I knew you'd come up with one. I'm in!"

"Just like that?" I asked; a little shocked since I didn't even give Adam the details of my estranged plan.

"If it means you're free and I don't have to see you suffer then, yes, Eli, just like that."


	42. An Attempt To Crumble With Her World

Clare stepped outside of her house on Tuesday morning anticipating Adam's arrival as they had planned on going to visit Eli before school. She took out her cell phone and dialed Adam's number.

He answered on the first ring. "Uh…hey Clare, what's up?"

"Where are you?" She asked angrily, stomping her foot on the ground.

"I can't go visit Eli. My parents threw a fit." He was panting and gasping for air.

Clare heard a horn honk. "Adam, are you lying to me?" She demanded questioningly.

"Um…hey sorry Clare, you're breaking up. Zzzzzz. Zzzzz."

And with a click the line went dead. Clare stood with her phone still open to dial absolutely stunned. What was more important then going to see his best friend? She slammed her phone shut, jammed it into her pocket, and stormed off towards the police station where Eli was being kept.

When she reached the police station, the front door was roped off with a caution banner. An ambulance was parked in front; lights flashing, and the sound of the alarm raging through the air. Many people were gathered outside talking quickly in a hushed tone.

Clare looked around frantically. What was going on in there? Was there a fight? What happened to Eli? Her fears soon came to life as they dragged out a body on a stretcher. The body was covered in a white sheet, but the side of its face remained a tad bit uncovered.

Clare's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. Her body began to shake uncontrollably. Tears flew out of her eyes and she fell to her knees almost in a slow motion as she realized the identity of the corpse; Eli.

"ELI!" she screamed. She ran towards the stretcher, but two officers held her back.

"Ma'am you can't pass. You must stay back with the others."

"LET ME THROUGH! ELI! ELI!" Her voice carried over everyone, strong and powerful even though she was drowning in her tears. The officers didn't let up and Clare sunk to the ground; almost as if she was drained of energy at that very moment. She watched with fogged up eyes as Eli's body was hauled into the ambulance and taken away.

Two officers emerged from the station; one was holding what seemed to be a noose fashioned out of bed sheets. The other was shaking his head. "I can't believe it. I took a glance inside his cell from the window and saw him hanging from the ceiling. It was one of the scariest things I've ever seen while working here."

Clare's mind flashed an image of Eli hanging from the ceiling of his cell. His eyes were rolled up in his head and a red line was imprinted into the skin of his neck as it had pressed to cut off his air supply. She began to moan and scream as onlookers stared at her frightfully. She felt every emotion rise up inside of her, crawling around her body, infecting every organ, every tissue, every muscle. Clare had never felt pain this strong. Eli wasn't gone. He couldn't be, but the evidence was there. His body was covered in a sheet; the noose was used as evidence. Eli had taken his own life.

The words seemed unreal to Clare. It wasn't possible. She couldn't lose him. He was everything to her. She rose up from the concrete and started to run. Clare had no set course, but she pleaded for her legs to continue as she pressed onward; farther and farther away from the scene of Eli's death. Finally, Clare's legs buckled beneath her and she was sent tumbling into the alleyway of The Dot. Where she was didn't faze her. She curled up in a ball and cried.

Eli didn't leave her. Why would he if he cared about her so much? This was a dream. She knew it. She had to wake up. She poked, pinched, and even punched herself, but the scene didn't dissolve into darkness. Her head was not resting on the top of her pillow. She was not warm in her bed, safe from the world just outside her window. This was reality and in this reality, all she had ever wanted was gone.

"CLARE! CLARE!" The voice was vaguely familiar. Everything seemed distant.

"Oh, Clare, I've been looking for you." Adam had his arms wrapped around Clare before she could even register what was happening.

"Eli's dead," she muttered and wept some more.

Adam let go of her and Clare glanced at his expression. He didn't seem to look any different then neutral.

"Did you hear me Adam? Eli is dead."

Written on Adam's face was not a face of sorrow, but more of a plea for forgiveness.

"You…you knew, didn't you?"

"Clare, listen to me, Eli didn't want me to tell you because you'd try to stop him."

"I HAD EVERY RIGHT!" She kicked the nearest trashcan which poured its contents onto the alleyway. "How could you keep this from me, Adam? Why didn't you talk him out of it? What the hell kind of friend are you?"

"Clare, he was miserable and he felt this was his only way out. I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Clare, but I –"

"But you what, Adam, you're sorry? No sorry can ever make up for this." Clare was crying even harder then before and Adam looked remorseful and hurt. It was etched upon his face as his frown grew deeper.

"He never loved me."

"That's a lie and you know that damn well, Clare." Adam shot back.

"It's true. If he loved me he wouldn't have done this. This is not how it's meant to be when you love someone. You don't give up. You fight to be with them and Eli, he gave up!"

Clare was now face to face with Adam. Her temper was at its highest that Adam has ever seen. Clare's heart was bleeding due the consequences of her lost love. A blade had pierced right through it, sunk so far in that it wasn't going to come out for a long time. Her hand shadowed over the ring Eli had given her. She slid it off her finger and played with it in between her fingertips.

"What do I have to live for now, Adam?" The harshness was almost impossible to detect in her voice anymore. Her words were solemn, almost calm and unaffected. "I thought we had something really special going, but in just a matter of minutes I find out that the one person I loved decided I'm not a reason to live for and my closest friend betrayed me."

Clare stepped out of the alleyway illuminating her figure into the sunlight of the morning sky. "How does that sound to you, Adam? Doesn't that sound just great?" She laughed slightly.

"Clare, I didn't betray you. I was trying to protect you from getting hurt."

"Oh yes, Adam because finding out after I had the chance to change things makes it all so much better." The amount of sarcasm on that line was pungent. "How could I ever thank you Adam for being so considerate?"

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He didn't know what to say. There was nothing he could say to make the situation any better.

He watched as Clare put the ring on the curb of the sidewalk. "What are you doing?"

Clare glanced over her shoulder at Adam. "I'm doing the one thing that I can to make this right." And before Adam could stop her, Clare had jumped in the middle of the intersection that was wrapped around The Dot. The nearest car swerved to the left to avoid hitting her.

"I'M NOT SCARED! I'M NOT SCARED!" She screamed at the cars which honked and dodged her in the middle of the road. "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, ELI? IS THIS HOW YOU WANTED IT TO BE? BOTH US DIE TOGETHER?" Her eyes took notice to a truck that was now speeding down the intersection. She knew there was no possible way it would stop in time and with the size of the truck, there was no way it could miss. She had never felt this way before; so accepting of death's embrace. One of the things people had feared most was so close to her and she was ready to take it on with full force. The truck grew closer, its headlights now overshadowing her body. Clare took a deep breath and braced herself for the impact. It would be over quickly, she thought. There was no way she would survive being smashed to pieces. Her world already had. What would make a difference if is she went down with it?

As the truck was about a few feet from her, Clare felt a giant force slam into the side of her hip. She landed hard on the middle block of the intersection that separated the two lanes. Adam was on top of her; his face beat red and the knees of his jeans skinned open.

Clare looked up at him; her cheeks stained with drops of tears. "Why did you do that, Adam?" Her words became incomprehensible after that as she was overwhelmed with moans and cries of agonizing pain; the type that stayed embedded in the soul.

Adam's heart had never beaten so fast in his chest before. If the split decision to jump and push Clare out of the way didn't consume his body when it did, Clare would have been dead. And then, Eli would have no one to return to when this all blew over.

****I know this is a cliffhanger, but I had to do it to set up for the ending. There are only two chapters left and let's just say I combined my two original endings together to make a better one.****


	43. Rebirth

It had been a week since Eli's death. The media had covered his story in extreme detail with countless articles, photographs, and news reports. Each new version had a new headline or some stupid reason why Eli had put himself in the mercy of death among his own hand. "Should we be questioning the treatment of prisoners when put behind bars after local boy is found dead?" "A noose, a body, and no answers; what is really happening in prisons?" These were only some of the hooks newspapers and stations were using, but none of them knew the real story. Actually half of them weren't even focused on Eli's death at all. It was an excuse used to bring in the political aspect of how jails were really being run. It was sickening and Adam had long since stopped reading.

He sat with Clare in her bedroom. She was on her bed dressed in nothing but an oversized robe. Since Adam had saved her from being run over, Clare had not spoken. She had barely eaten. Her frame was looking thin and more fragile then ever. Her hair was uncombed. Her eyes were constantly glassy and red from the amount of crying she had been doing. Adam had barely seen her fingers stop touching Eli's skull ring which he had retrieved from the curb.

Adam refused to leave her side; staying in her room with her all day finding ways to occupy himself while Clare's position remain unchanged. Getting her to eat at least a meal a day was a struggle, but with Mrs. Edwards' help, it went successfully after a few failed attempts. However, feeding her was not nearly as bad as when she went to sleep.

Adam had no idea what Clare was dreaming about, but from how it sounded, it was horrible. She'd scream so loud it pierced through anyone's eardrums within a mile radius. It was high pitched and continuous. She'd thrash around in her sheets, claw at her skin, and then break into a fit of tears even while she was still asleep. Mr. and Mrs. Edwards had grown such a custom to this that they stopped coming in to check on Clare. What could they do anyways? This was Clare's battle to be won and unfortunately she was losing severely.

There was no funeral being held for Eli. His mother announced it in the one of the articles Adam had picked up to read the day after his murder. He wasn't surprised, but he was full of wrath. Even now, she didn't change. Eli was gone and nothing had even struck her. Her excuse in the paper was something along the lines of "I want to heal on my own and I feel like having a funeral for Eli will only make the pain be reborn instead of slowly fading away." After reading that, Adam had shred the paper into at least a hundred strips and burned them outside with a lighter. He watched as the black and white print disintegrated into ash; filling up at least a fourth of the garbage can. The memory of Eli would probably vanish from Mrs. Goldsworthy's mind just as fast as the paper had burned to nothing.

It was now five o'clock in the afternoon. Adam listened silently to the Clare's slow breathing. They had just finished giving her dinner which was some toast with soup since anything more then that proved to be a challenge. Her normally pale blue eyes seemed to have lost their color, their drive, and their will to feel any emotion other then sadness. Adam wondered almost every minute what would have happened if Clare had successfully gone through with taking her own life.

He couldn't do this anymore. This was poisoning his mind. The game had gone on long enough. He needed to end it, to make things the way they were supposed to be.

He rose up from the floor of Clare's room and made his way towards Mrs. Edwards who was reading a book in the living room.

"I'm going to go get some air. Is it alright if I leave Clare with you?"

Mrs. Edwards closed her book and placed it beside her on the couch. "Of course it's fine, dear. Take all the time you need. You've been a great friend."

The last few words tugged at Adam's heartstring. Looking guiltier then ever, he raced out of Clare's home and down the street making sure he was out of earshot from any other civilians.

-Eli's POV-

My phone made a loud pinging sound from the table next to me. I dove for it and picked it up. The only person who knew this number existed was Adam.

"Hello?"

"Eli, I can't do this anymore. Clare's an emotional wreck. Mr. and Mrs. Edwards don't know what to do and neither do I. Your plan worked. You're off the hook. Please Eli, you have to come back."

I didn't respond, but the thought of Clare sent a jolt down my spine. I wanted to see her with every fiber in my body.

"Eli, are you there?" Adam's voice sounded almost in a panic.

"I'm here. Look Adam, you've done a great job, but I'm still not sure if it's' time yet. The news is still doing updates and I'm still in the papers."

"You're supposedly dead for crying out loud, Eli! No one is going to be looking for you. No one from the police, or the news, or anywhere has tried to question me or Clare. There's nothing to hide her from anymore. She needs you, Eli. Things are bad on this end. She tried to jump in front of a truck."

"WHAT!" I exclaimed my pulse kick starting furiously in my chest. "Is she alright? Is she hurt?"

"She's physically fine, but she's going to continue to hurt until you come back. Eli, please." Adam begged.

My mind filled with memories of Clare. Adam was right. It had been a week since my "death."I couldn't let another incident like that happen again. I couldn't let Clare slip away any further then she already had based on what Adam was telling me. I needed to tell Clare everything and hope she still wanted me. I let out a sigh on my end of the line. "Alright, Adam, convince both of Clare's parents to somehow let her out for an hour or two and meet me by the beach just off the end of River Street. Is that clear?"

Adam responded immediately, a sense of relief trailing in his voice. "I'll get right on it." And within a second's time, the line went dead.

I placed my phone down back onto its proper place on the table and looked around me. Thanks to Adam I was able to safely arrive at my old house before I had moved out and transferred to Degrassi. No one had bought it because it was pretty run down. It was small only one bedroom, a living room, a hallway which they considered a kitchen, and a bathroom that was rusted out. The style of it was way too old to be modernized. The wooden floor creaked with almost every step. The faucet and shower leaked. Framework on the house was unstable and slowly beginning to fall apart, but yet this was the one place I knew no one would dare to come back to. The only good thing about this house was there still some furniture left that my mom couldn't afford to take and some food that Adam had smuggled over to me that I had to eat sparingly to last until I felt it was time to leave.

I was afraid of letting Clare in on my plan in case any one asked or wondered too much. I didn't want Clare to be put under the struggle of having to lie or cover up for me. I think I had put her through enough. I was hoping with every thing I had in me that this secret both Adam and I had been keeping wouldn't break us apart for good.

My whole body was encased in nerves. Would anyone recognize me when I went outside? No. That was unlikely due to my less usual dress wear because of Adam, my semi shorter hair, and a hat that I was wearing as a precaution. Surprisingly, hiding my hair made all the difference.

It was time to leave and on that mark, I grabbed my beanie Adam had given me, tucked in the sides of my hair just briefly, took my cell phone, and headed out of the house. I took the back route that led to River Street which was a puzzle of climbing fences, turning through alleyways, and crawling underneath the boardwalk that led onto the beach.

I walked straight down to the shoreline from the entrance of the boardwalk so Adam and Clare wouldn't have to look for me. I sat on the sand which was warm and mushy against my clothes and waited. I didn't know how much time had gone by, but before I knew it footsteps and whispers were behind me.


	44. Fully Alive

I turned around and faced Clare. She never looked so different before and to think this was my fault. "Clare," I said weakly.

Her eyes lay upon me and she seemed to be overlooking me almost questioning if I was real. She didn't say anything.

"Clare, I need you to listen to me." I waited for her to interrupt or make a gesture, but she just stood staring at me, frozen in place. Adam stayed behind holding onto her protectively almost as if the shock from seeing me would send her colliding into the sand. But Clare didn't look for one second that she was going to fall down.

"I faked my own death, Clare. It was the only way I could think of that could get me out of that place. It was driving me insane. I was lonely. I couldn't see you when I pleased. I couldn't hang out with Adam. I thought if I pretended to be dead, it'd be a way to finally be free and it worked. I'm here Clare, now."

I took in a breath watching Clare's lips slowly form words.She sprung into life like someone had jolted electricity through her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to, Clare. In case anyone came around asking questions you wouldn't have to lie to protect me."

She crossed her arms and took a step to me. "But you told Adam. What about him having to lie to keep you safe?" Her words were clear cut and sharp.

"I had to tell Adam. He needed to help me get away from the cops safely and get me food that would last until I was ready to show myself again." Sweat was forming on the top of my brow. I rubbed my hands together briskly, more nervous then I had ever been. Clare's eyes didn't once leave mine. I could feel them; lasers burning my flesh.

"So you needed Adam, but you didn't need me."

"Clare, he was just trying to –"

"Shut up, Adam!" Clare scolded. She pushed the front of her hair out of her face with her hand. Adam backed away.

"If you want to be mad at anyone it should be me, not Adam. He was just being a good friend."

"To you and you only!" She spat. She ran up to me and began pushing me and scratching at my shoulders. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"She screamed; tears appearing faster then I could count on her face. "I THOUGHT YOU LEFT ME, MEANWHILE YOU JUST STOWED YOURSELF AWAY!" She pounded on my chest with her fists. I didn't try to stop her. I needed Clare to let everything out. It was the only way she would heal.

Tears rolled from my eyes. What had I done to her? There I was on the beach, with the girl I loved beating me and my best friend who was guilt ridden, suffering, because I made him keep a secret that rotted away his soul? What kind of person was I?

Clare let out one final blow which threw off my balance. She took a step back, wiping away her tears allowing silence to fill the beach. I only heard the gentle roar as waves crashed onto the shore, retracted, and repeated the cycle.

"Please, Clare, don't be mad." It was stupid to be asking for that, but I didn't know what else to say. I was the one who needed to be forgiven and I couldn't make Clare proceed with the action. This pain, her pain, would linger in me forever. I had to see her broken down, confused, upset, disassembled because I had put her that way. I had torn Clare apart, ripped her to shreds, and I had even sent Adam to do my bidding. In that process, I weighed him down. Why wasn't he acting like Clare? Why wasn't he ready to leave?

"I'm sorry, Eli," Adam mouthed to me. It went unnoticed to Clare who still hadn't responded to my plea. Adam shrugged his shoulders leading into a slouch and looked at his feet with no grasp of what to do.

"Clare –"my words trailed off as my lip began to shake and tears dripped from my eyes once more. I needed an answer; something to base my feelings on besides my own negative thoughts. I sunk down to the sand and buried my face in my hands. She didn't need to speak. I knew the answer.

Suddenly, I felt weight press upon me and I released my face to see Clare on top of me. I fell back onto the sand with her on top of me. She was kissing me fast and strong. I put my hands on her face and returned the gesture; shocked and surprised.

"You're so stupid, Eli." She said pulling away from me and she sat on my stomach, legs dangling off. I sat up, sliding her down onto my lap and I pulled her face towards mine. I attacked my lips with hers. Our tongues collided, our breath was hot against each other's face, our fingers were intertwined, and our lips were afraid to let go. I had Clare, my beautiful Clare; the one person who healed my soul which I thought was gone beyond any chance of repair.

I stopped kissing her and took a glance at her face. Her eyes were shining and she moaned a tiny bit as she pulled me into a tight hug. I saw Adam over Clare's shoulder who was smiling happily.

"Tell me everything," she whispered in my ear and I released her.

"Your wish is my command," I responded and I motioned for Adam to join us among the sand. He plopped down beside us.

"It started off when I went to see Eli on Monday. He told me he –"

I held up my hand signaling for Adam to be quiet. "It's my story, Adam. I'll tell her."

Adam nodded approvingly and let my words fill the air.

"Picking up from where Adam left off, I basically told him I knew a way out. I told him I'd pretend to kill myself and when I was dragged out I would make an escape for it. It turns out that I had help from inside. My patrol officer who would come by in the mornings used to make small talk with me when no one was around. He said I didn't deserve to be here and he could just tell that I didn't do it. He said I was too pure."

I grabbed Clare's hand and squeezed gently. "In a few days time, I had thought of a plan and he agreed to help. If I faked a hanging, he'd come by, see me, and rush me out. With his word of confirmation that I was dead, no one would ask questions and I'd be free. So approximately at 7:59, the officer tapped lightly against my cell door giving me the signal to string up and so I did. I tied up the noose I had already fastened before I went to sleep and hung it from the top of the ceiling. It hurt like hell with that thing around my neck, but I stuck through it for thirty seconds until he 'found' me."

I titled my head upward and revealed a slight red scar that had formed from where the edges of the bed sheet had dug into my skin. Clare reached up her free hand and outlined the scar. "Does it hurt?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No it doesn't. It's just another way to remind me of a memory to add to the stupid things I have done list."

Both Adam and Clare laughed, the severity of the conversation loosening up drastically. "That's one long list my man," Adam said slapping my back.

I couldn't dispute that and proceeded with the story. "So basically an ambulance was called. I remained still and before I knew it they loaded me into an ambulance on a stretcher. About a half hour away, the ambulance, thanks to my new found friend, made a detour and I was released into Adam's care which safely got me to shelter and food."

Clare was almost in disbelief. "That's…something."She said. "I don't think any plan I ever came up with could compare with that of yours, Eli Goldsworthy, the evil mastermind and of course Adam, the evil sidekick." She rubbed the top of Adam's head leaving his hair spiked.

"I try, Clare," Adam said attempting to make a bow even though he was sitting down.

She wrapped one arm around each of our shoulders and pulled Adam and I into a tight hug. "I love you guys so much."

"Not to boast, but I am pretty awesome," Adam snickered.

Clare pushed against his shoulder and sent him face first into a pile of sand. He spat repeatedly trying to remove the crusty taste of sand from his teeth.

Clare was trying to hold in her laughter, but she couldn't once I had cracked.

"Yeah, yeah, let it all out," Adam said angrily brushing away sand from his mouth. "I'll go get something to eat. I think the best way to celebrate would be a picnic on the beach. Anyone agree?"

Clare and I raised our hands immediately. Adam smiled and headed off towards the boardwalk.

"So, Mr. Goldsworthy, next time you decide to make a plan be sure to give a heads up before I decide to do something I'll regret."

"You mean like jumping in front of a truck?"

"Adam." Clare hissed angrily.

"I dropped a few hints, Clare. I'm glad this didn't end up like the ending of Romeo and Juliet."

Clare let her head fall in between my neck and my shoulder. She nuzzled up close to me. "And what hints did you drop that could have prevented us from a tragic ending?"

"Well, 'it's not goodbye, it's more like see you soon.' If that wasn't obvious I don't know what was."

Clare let out a gasp. "How did you expect me to pick up on something as subtle as that?"

"You're smart, Clare. I thought you'd figure it out."

Clare shuffled her feet in the sand and stood up taking me with her. She guided me down by the water which the sun was shining on. The top of the waves foamed and every time they broke, it looked like crystals were being released. I stared upon mine and Clare's reflection that rippled and reformed in the water every few seconds.

"I guess I wasn't that smart, but I do have two things I must request."

I raised my eyebrow. "Go on."

"Would you possibly like to make other living arrangements, with me?"

"But your parents –"

"-Will understand, "Clare smiled as she had cut me off.

"And what's your second desire?" I asked; my whole body as light as a feather because of the joy I had felt at that very moment.

"Kiss me, Eli, like you never kissed me before."

A smirk emerged on my face and it didn't vanish even as my lips met hers. The waves nipped at my ankles and I was inspired with an idea at the very moment. I picked up Clare into my arms and held her; her hands around my neck. She was my whole world and the fact that there were no more obstacles preventing us from being together made life worth living for.

_"For never was a story of more woe. Than this of Juliet and her Romeo." _However, Clare Edwards and Elijah Goldsworthy had defied the odds.

**Wow, I can't believe this story is over. I really enjoyed writing it and I loved reading all of your reviews. They just gave me drive to continue with this. This is not the end of me. I'm already writing a new Degrassi fan fiction at the moment. **


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